So here is my new poem written from the perspective of someone who had died and is telling tales of his life from the world beyond

NAME: BROKEN TWILIGHT

I awake crawling out of this shell of nothing
Memories of my exit that still exist in me
Finally a flock of strangers farewell me off
Funny how none of them sung to my living
But now they make a carnival of sadness for me
Present to merry at a population less calculated
In their white silence exist nothing but gray secrets

From what lips came forth that dead don’t live?
In this world beyond in a city of Broken Twilight
We are humans of our own broken at twilight
Yes I may not taste the foods but I hunger
I hunger for memories to relive if chances arrive
I starve for risks that I was shy to take at living
But hunger is what keeps us envying the living

For I live in a world you see as a broken twilight
A world broken with no sun and no moon
I journey upon waters of shattered time
A world where we build skyscrapers from wishes
A world enslaved and ruled in the chains of regrets
It is a dark world where no sins dare live
In a world where your sun sets rise upon us

The living ask what we do in awaiting of judgment day
We play in the sand and swim in dehydrated waters
We fall in love with the mistakes we never took
I spend my immortality longing for the hymn of my heart
To risk every bit of it to every girl ready to break it
For it is in the pain the living dread that life lives
I long to carouse on the blood that flows on the wood

I miss the ones that my hands were weak to hold
And in this moment that my lips speak only silence
What’s the need of words if they aren’t to be heard?
I miss the breaths I was not courageous to take away
I miss the suns I was stubborn to shine into dark hearts
All I’m living now is a breath of a misty life
In a broken twilight haunted by the life I took for granted

©g!o.inked

 

This is a poem I jotted down for the love of one of the bands that really influenced my writing style; Evanescence. It was a dare from a friend of mine to write about my love for music and for the artist/band that I love most. The writing is a mainstream goth and I picked a few lines from the band's songs to make the writing flow....Enjoy

Evanescence

I remember my origin meeting you at the open door
That moment when I was robbed all I was living for
And I was on blood hunt for all that I could perish for
It felt like my life was once again at its beginning
I stood there as you separated me from the living

It was in you I found words that made me feel better
I love you because you reflected the best of worst in me
Like you’re the one who’s been haunted in the same waters
Now let your lips move me to paradise of the thoughtless
As you numb my pains ‘til I’m made of stone

When to everybody I was the fallen going under
You saw into my eyes that I was slipping to somewhere cold
Friends and acquaintances abandoned me in the world behind
But it was your sweet voice that again made my blood alive
And in the arms of your tunes I was saved ‘fore I was undone

Now as I wake up this morning from a thousand years
To betray myself behind the mask and be everybody’s fool
I scream for you to wake me up ‘fore I reach the bottom
To defeat these confusing thoughts before I break again
I seek your voice to reach down the core where I lay cold

Many other guitar strings may shower down on this stage
And their screams may try to captivate the sanity left in me
But it is the scars of the first love that will never forever heal
It is you my immortal who swam me home aloft all of my fears
I hold my breath hoping this isn’t the last song you’ll waste on me

 ©g!o.inked

I definitely had to share this. It is a poem about poetry from one of the writers I always admire most in Writers Cafe. When I came across this, I felt overwhelmed by its beauty embossed behind simplicity. It is one of those poems that you really don't have to struggle to understand but at the same time, they seem so complicated to be classified as just a simple poem. It truly defines to its tiny bit how poets view poems and I could not help but share this with the world. Nice work Whiskurz and thank you for letting me expose such beauty to the world. For the rest enjoy and feel free to view more of Whiskurz poems at http://www.writerscafe.org/Larry%20B

Name: Never Ending Need
Poet: Whiskurz

A poem should touch the inner core
Where feelings are only found
A place that you alone can see
Where love and hate abound

A poem is a tear before you cry
Or a smile before you feel
A little pain your being craves
Before your heart can heal

A poem is a memory cast aside
Before your mind is free
It's often dreams that's left behind
A misplaced destiny

A poem is what you feel inside
That makes you who you are
A poem is written with tears and blood
To mend that endless scar

A poem is felt before the words
And can cause your soul to bleed
A poem is never a state of mind
But a never ending need

So today I penned down a poem about what I have been feeling off late or what I have not been feeling off late. I say so because where I should be tasting sweet, to me it is tasting bitter. The hardest thing in life is trying to be in love where you feel you don't belong, and as much as you need to be in it and try to fit yourself in it, you still just don't feel it, you know. I met this amazing person and I really tried to work things out with her but it could not...not because of her but because of me. So leaving her meant breaking her heart. I guess the end sometimes justifies the means...she deserves better and so I had to leave my footsteps across her heart, I speak of it as if it is an easy move but it is not. So I penned this poem to dedicate it to her and to let my heart out to the rest of the seven billion people out there..cheers!!

This is my goodnight kiss and your goodbye lullaby
My hymn hoping to heal where I’m about to break
I so wish that these words taste better than I am sorry
For it’s unjust that my presence draws from you life

I really wish that this heart of me would be yours
That you’d be the splendor I awaken next to every dawn
To watch your eyes tango away step to step with shyness
As I whisper sweetness of romance novice to my imagination

But tell me how do I steer with my eyes stuck on rear view?
For my heart that you long for is enslaved in another’s arm
She who which from a distance is too blind to closely see me
Yet to you who is here next to me my heart shuts its eyes

The pain I put you through can’t allow me to stay to sober
I see your words and feel your actions of love that burns for me
Your hopes for us taste so sweet on my flavorless tongue
But I’m nothing but a dark ink writing your tale

I try with my all to feel the same way you feel for me
Instead of falling in love I’m drowning, suffocating in its pool
Dying from the fact that I can’t be the man I want for you
Love should burn in flames but in me it is just ashes

I wish it is you I can truly offer this fragile heart of mine
But you came a minute too late to bring it back from dead
For it hurts me that I meet the girl with all that I adore
But it is her that suffers from this bitter sweet of void in me

You say it is better to have anything than to be alone
But I am a lone wolf, a vessel, a human empty of emotions
And planting seeds on a rock won’t bring forth any fruit
No matter how you water it, the rock will only shatter

On my knees I beg for your mercies to charter me forgiveness
But if it’s beyond your means then do wish me well
For I was enthroned with a curse that every poet suffers
Poets do not fall in love; our hearts are in the pens we hold

I’m sorry that you aren’t the one amid my dreams and nightmares
For you are a beautiful human and I’m just a whisper of a song
©g!o.inked

Okay I'll start with answering a question I'm always asked; "why doth my writing always emboss sadness?" Well here is the plain truth, Jim Morrison once said, "Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they are wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it." Truth is I don't take pleasure in pain, it's just that I adore diversity and since modern age poetry and writing is about love and heartbreaks, what makes me me if I dwell in that same circle? So I took the path of a wake up call, that path that people are assuming doesn't exist when daily we do know it is there. For example some of my previous poems talk about society pressure upon those who can blend in, we assume we are not killing them that they are the ones killing themselves and nobody wants to talk about them, so I wrote it. In this next poem called Cinderella and Prince Something talks about two leukemia victims who are teenagers and their last minute love.At first I really didn't want to share this piece with the world but then for the support of fight against all sorts of cancer, I have to...I hope you enjoy it or...you enjoy it....

Cinderella and Prince Something
The minute finger was echoing in her dark hope
Reminding her she was one of them at the bus stop
The ride of her lifetime assured of no return
Shivering in the arms of pain under her blanket
At fourteen, terminated and to be erased

She closed her eyes, counted her departing dreams
Every girl was usually rescued by her knight
Her mom found her dad and her sister, a boyfriend
She guessed her knight must’ve gotten lazy to armor up
At fourteen, she had never kissed a boy

She heard a mild, nervous yet a beautiful voice
She didn’t open her eyes for she knew it was a trance
With dashing hopes she hoped it was her chance
To be rescued and for once feel an embrace of a boy
At fourteenth count she opened her eyes to a beauty

He was sixteen with blue eyes that outstood his bland skin
With a frozen smile he told her she was beautiful
Strangest word from a stranger yet familiar from the family
I see Horoscope lied when it said cancers can’t love each other
At fourteen, she finally felt she belonged to this world

She became a Cinderella and he was prince something
He took her to two dates and a masquerade party
While others were clothed as monsters and princesses
They went as two leukemia patients with no deceit
At sixteen minutes to midnight she finally had her first kiss

After her first kiss she never heard again from him
She got angry when she thought she wasn’t cute in bald
Or maybe her lips had a savor of blood she had puked
Or maybe it was midnight and she outgrew her shoes
At fourteen, she had sixteen minutes of love

An ocean once serene turned to a sad song
The only tune she knew ended before her first dance
Others hated life while to them life was a riddle
It was something in his smile that gave her strength
It was his smile that made her live fourteen minutes longer

Her silence bled regrets of joy she robbed her family
She was worried of watching them troubled by her
So she asked for one last sunset to kiss her goodbye
So she asked for one last sunset to kiss her welcome
Fourteen and sixteen dead but with beating hearts

Four minutes away still your tongues reading this
Three minutes away she smiled hopelessly
Two minutes away she hugged her family
A minute away she hugged her prince’s absence
No minute away she found him waiting for her

He said to me, “You leave while we wait.”
She said to me, “You live while we fade.”
©g!o.inked

Have you ever just taken a minute and paused everything you are doing and just look in the face of people passing by you one by one? I did, and it is heart wrenching how a lot of people are going through a lot of hidden pain in them. Everybody is just a walking volcano and most of these people's pain is triggered by other people who ignored just shutting up or speaking the right words when needed.

This is my letter to all those who are going through that pain and social depression. I am with you.

People are going to treat you bad, walk on you no matter how nice you try to be to them. They are going to make you cry and you are going to feel like life hates you because you give it the best and in return people give you their worst. Don't give up, just never give up because I promise you that it gets better. All the pain that hurts in your heart will one day fade and once again, the magic waterfall will pour in your heart. No matter what you are going through, shed your tears, forgive them and just humble yourself; remember fire doesn't cool fire but water heals the burns...where you sow good, it is good that you will reap; love only comes where it is invited and God only saves those who are broken. Whenever they pin you down, think of Christ; he was spat on, he was beaten, abused and killed by the same people he came to save, but never even for once did he think of vengeance as much as he had the power of God in his palms. For he knew victory that comes with the wounds is always the sweetest. Don't let people change you...be God's instrument and His rewards will amaze you. Remember people can only mistreat you if they are intimidated by you but always take the high road, don't stoop to their level.
© g!o.inked

The poem below pretty much speaks for itself. This is to all who have lost loved ones through depression and society pressure. Please learn to accept people as they are...we aren't gold to fold to whatever you want, we ain't perfect and just 'cause you are strong not all of us are strong...I wrote this because i am just sick of people always expecting us and to show the world to what extent you drive us...I am a loner and i love it that way, i love my solitude and i don't want to be what the society wants me to be. It is simple, accept me and love me for who i am or just find the next exit, but i am not going to fold to what does not please me. Cheers.

Beautiful Decay

You were just a fragile angel masked in imperfection

Whispered by the heavens to not last in this life

Now I live with the misery of pain of your absence

As I rip myself from the inside in hunt for a reason

On what’s the meaning of this if you won’t get to read it

Forgive me that I could not attend your burial

I could not stand the sight of the dark clouded crowd

I just wish you told me you were about to leave

At least I would be freed from this wretched mortality

To be in the next world we imagined as always together

Everybody is unsighted to the load that weighs me down

They keep on saying that I am holding to what’s gone

What if the past is the only present you have to live?

What if tomorrow holds nothing for it seeks freedom too?

To me the wine in this golden cup no longer tastes sweet

I wish I’d convince you it is not too late to stay alive

For I have become nothing but a sailor without a map

Please please promise me if I die tonight and join you

That in the after life you’ll for eternity stay alive

But if you ever decide to leave again, let me live with you

No bullet have I encountered can hush the scar in my brain

Each night I am enslaved by nightmares of our memories

I wake up drowning and fighting for air in the pool of my tears

When I stay awake reality cuts every edge of life trapped in me

Please come salvage me from this nightmare I am drowning into

I hope tonight I will find strength to sleep into a comatose

Maybe overdose of Vicodin and Prozac to keep me asleep forever

For I am out to search for a near death experience

Just for a night to be near you and near the ones behind

For I seek a chance to know that you are in safe hands

I loved it when people nicknamed us The Misery Misfits

Tell me the next world is real like in the movie Lovely Bones

Do you hold memories of how we wanted to be in a psychic ward?

But now I am alone in a medium ward, it totally sucks

For they put me to sleep whenever I scream I miss you

People will never understand how lovely you were

For you did put out your light before you shone bright

I hope you get to read this and cry just as I am

Not because it is your final poem embossed with pain

But because you wish I was there with you

Today I met the popular kids who used to bully us

Wearing false grievance masked with regrets

They even told me to go hang out with them tonight

I guess finally your death has robbed butterflies their color

Finally the owls find the reason to sleeping at night

To the rest of the world out there literate to read

I wish these words were a half empty of what I feel inside

You seize the life of your loved ones in your flimsy palms

Taking away your life steals away more than just one life

For now I bid fare-thee-well to my sanity and my best friend

I guess you’ve finally given me a Walk To Remember

I smile through tears knowing I encountered an angel

“Don’t call me an angel,” you always said.

“All these angels are only here for a moment.”

Here in my last words I kiss your shadows goodbye

As the rest say Rest In Peace you’ll be missed,

For me Return If Possible I miss you

R.I.P & I love You

© g!o.inked 

So today i want to to talk about my role models, those that i always look up to as an example and my trend-setters. Well i have been thinking about them and what makes them special to add them to my list or what make me think i want to be like them. It's rather absurd that most of them of them were either drug addicts, are dead or people term them as nuts but i love them.

So first, what do i look for in a role model? See, basically role models are people that we want to be like but as for me, they are people who were somehow like me but i want to be either bigger or better than them so that's why somehow you'll find them as people that society really never appreciated them that much...but i love them because, it is from them that i have learned how to deal with certain stuff and people and life in general, 'cause i say "if he could manage to rise above that problem why can't i?"

So without further a due, let me get  to them...

1. Marilyn Monroe

Yes, Norma Jeane Mortenson, widely known as Marilyn Monroe. Okay right now i know she is a figure that a lot of girls and dudes look up to and worship, plus statics show that she is the celebrity figure that has gained the most fame after her death than when she was alive. Her merchandise have surpassed E. Presley's and M. Jackson's and even The Beatles. 50 years after her death and her fan base keeps grown more and more each and everyday. I must say i am proud of her, i'd want my legacy to live on like that, i'd rather be famous after my death than when i'm alive, because after you die you become a god among men. So what makes Norma Jeane a tick? Well looking at her personal life growing up, she went through some evil stuff like being stuffed into a bag by her own mother, moving from one foster home to another, sexual assaults and torture among others and despite all these she held her dream in her heart that one day she'd grow into a big star. Even after her breakthrough, trouble did not seem to have abandoned her. Most of her relationships were a wreck and when you follow her story well you'll notice she was the girl screaming in the Cinderella dress. Despite the fame and everything, she just wanted to be normal but she could never match the patch....the misunderstood type. Basically that's the type of person that i am too. Despite always being the adored, i still feel like i never belong plus my life is always full of drama and that which everybody want to poke there nose in and not to forget my past, i grew up around some really harsh environment. I love her in the fact despite all the drama she managed to rise and sit with presidents and made herself a brand that people will forever remember. I don't wish to sit among kings and queens but i do hope that my work will some day be the voice to the ones always shut out. Like Norma once said, "Behind the make up and behind the smile, i am just a girl who wishes for the world"...so to shut the speculations, i hope you understand that i love her not just because she is a Gemini, but for many reasons.
R.I.P Monroe, i wish you could see how much we love you now.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe

2. Eminem

Yeah, this is the part that everybody always goes "What the heck?" and i answer, "you heard me right." Marshal Bruce Mathers III is my second role model. We pretty much all know the background of Marshal. Growing in the black neighborhood, growing up without a dad and his relationship with his mom plus being one of the first white rappers emerging into rap industry. I am not going to go into so much details of his life but we all know him and either love or hate Marshal from his rebel attitude and from him i have come to learn that the society always wants to create you into whoever it wants, thus making a lot of people afraid to stand up and stand out. Everybody is made to believe that speaking your mind is being imperfect and thus if you speak what you think, you are not good. Well most call Marshall a bad influence but i have never heard it anywhere stated that Hailie his daughter, is smoking pot or not going to school, that makes him somebody that can foster a good child then...i speak my mind a lot and i am basically not harmed by it, for i know that when i bottle all that stuff up in me, i'll either end up retarded or dead by 25. From Marshall i have learned that, do whatever you love, go for your dreams at the end of the day not everybody will approve your path. From him i learned that, the pains that people cause me, i can them use as the stones to build myself with, after all being different does not make you a victim but special. "I say what I want to say and do what I want to do. There's no in between. People will either love you for it or hate you for it."

3 David
I am talking about David from the Old Testament for those who know what bible is :') ...I understand to some people he is just a make up story just like superman and stuff, but when the only book you get to read as a child looking for a better tomorrow is bible, then you'll believe that he is real. To me not only is he real, but also my hero. From what aspects though? Well i am a Christian and all those who are like me know that the only thing that makes you special is your faith in God. David growing up, he was the last born in his family and the one that was considered the only thing he could do better is sing and look over the flock of his father. Pretty much if you look at my family i am not well built and strong like my brother neither am i all that smart like my sisters, in fact i used to be one of those considered weak in primary school. Nobody believed David could face Goliath and deliver Philistines in the hands of Israelis, but he had faith that nothing could stop the power that was living in him and with just a sling and a stone, he brought Philistines to their knees. I love that, if i can just have even a drop of that faith whenever i face any challenge in life...i am sure nothing can bring me down. David too rose from nothing to a name that we all know will reign forever. I too want to have that sort of faith that you live each and everyday knowing there's someone you can rely on.

4. My Dad
Well nobody fits this part better than my dad since he is one person i have witnessed life from him first hand. From a distance when you look at him, all you'll see is just an ordinary person, an ordinary dad but i am who i am today because of him. I never grew up with my mother and as we all know how most fathers would be, all reckless and stuff, my daddy never for once forgot that he had kids to look after and he would sacrifice all he had just so that he can see my brother and i happy. From him i have known how to be a better parent someday when i have my kids...at least i'll know how to raise them. From his big heart i have learned how to feel what people go through and never to overlook anyone. From his struggle i now can persevere through the fire (that is a facetious statement, don't try to pour hot coal on me)...and the list is long but you can google Four-to-Nine Steps and read more about him from that poem i poem i wrote. 
 
So there they are, like i said my role models are either dead or considered bad influence; at least my dad doesn't fit in both categories. My role models don't influence my career path as in the case i see among most people...no, mine influence how i handle my life. So don't confuse my mentors and role models. My mentors guide me on how to better myself in different areas of my life and my skills but not my whole life, the likes of Joel Osteen, Oscar Wilde, Emily Dickinson, Niccolo Machiavelli among others...

My role models though, are people who set the standard for me and i try to live above it.... 

Next i'll discuss about my mentors. Cheers.

© g!o.inked  

So finally i managed to pen down the emotions that were clouding my heart and preventing me from dealing with my past. It is amazing how you can get over someone without moving on and that's the single mistake i guess i have been doing each time my relationships fall off the edge of the cliff. So for the first time i am going to chin up, dust the dust off my coat and say, i am fine and mean it without hiding treasure that i still carry from the past. But first things first...drain off all the emotions in your heart.

So i am going to take step by step as i update this diary of a silly Gemini on my progress...so this is day one...i flush off the emotions that i hide in me, be it anger or love and the best way for me is to write a poem. Amazingly i did manage to write this one below...so i blog it

LEAKING FACE

Here I am penned in pain writing you the last of us

I write this sitting among mourning chamber of gods

Who weep for me and dry their tears with clouds above

So that I can quench my pain from drinking theirs

I am the loser who awaits to fall as winner takes it all

I try to pretend everyday that you and I are over

I clothe truth with garments of lies about my pain

Until yesterday when I heard the winds whisper your name

Your name with someone’s who had replaced mine

I choked from the stench of memories I can’t erase

And lies that you had me enslaved with by you

How you painted a perfect picture of hope I held dearly

About tomorrows that you held so high just to tease me

How foolish was I to fight just to hold onto nothing

Like when I tried to kiss you and you pushed me away

Why couldn’t I see that you were saving your lips for him?

Another victim you’ve lured by your charms that now kill me

To you it was so easy jumping out of a flying plane

Because you knew we would fall so you brought your parachute

You landed on your feet and made merry at my broken pieces

I died and resurrected from the misery you left me in

But despite growing wings I find myself crawling back to you

Because I hunger for your pain that you had me addicted

You gave me so much endless nights on short days

The best adventures of my life I explored them with you

But you took me deep in the jungle where for a reason I never saw

Until you left me because you knew I’d be lost without you

Thanks to you now I can see the world in a single color

Thanks to you now I can’t listen to my favorite songs

Because they play nothing but memories on how we danced to them

You’re the last hero in armored suit that I’ll ever need to save me

For you come protected with an ambition to wreck me

Then brag that you kept your heart safe from me

This love was never a game for winner to be crowned

But truth is we were just racing for a destiny that was never there

You won and finally found that one to replace me

All I did was write Fading April hoping it would quench me

I hope you use my silly jokes I made to make you smile on him

And lie that I’m just someone you don’t want to remember

When we know that I am the past that gave you your present

Don’t worry I am not in tears I just have a leaking face

Melting from the candle lit at the base of my heart

As I become a record that broken hearts play

© g!o.inked