So i was thinking today of how we take important things for granted and magnify our times on certain things that truly hold not much value in our life...these that basically brings us "security" but not love...i mean on a serious note, what is more insecure than being lonely? Everyday we wake up and the first things we think of are of monetary value and we go all through the day with nothing but this thought. This has become part of our lives to the extent we don't remember that money only bring us temporary happiness, but friends and family brings us joy but still we'd rather choose career over family. Marilyn Monroe once said, " A career is wonderful but you can't curl up with it in bed."...we've all become nothing but zombies yearning to be humans.

Yesterday a friend of mine lost a friend through accident and she told me how she was shocked on how life can be so short. It had me thinking, why do we ignore people as if we know they'll be there tomorrow when truth of the matter is that, we are not promised that?  We hold resentment in our hearts when we know can show love, we postpone things in ignorance when we can just do them today, you make mistakes saying that tomorrow i'll apologize/we'll talk and everything will be alright when you can just avoid it in the first place, we take people for granted when deep within us we know that we need them. Humans are considered to be ruling the highest rank in knowledge capacity but sadly enough i find it that humans are the most ignorant of all God's creations. The big question is, when you wake up today and find that friend/family member dead, will you say you lived a well satisfied life with him/her? Or will you forever hold thirst in you that will never be quenched?

If you have a friend that has made you smile or has really influenced the person you are today, but of late the communication link between you two has been on a wreck, why are you waiting for him/her to call you first if you can do it? If you know you had a fight with someone special in your life that you never want to lose, would you trade that for his/her death? A family member that you have not been on good terms with, what if he/she is stolen today? It is always said, the beautiful things in life are free...stop chasing for temporary happiness if you've been blessed by people you know make you happy in your life. I am not saying that we should not go for our dreams and work hard, just remember life is not for going through but to be lived and money creates no memory....for this life is nothing but a whisper. Let the ones that add/have added colors to your life know that their presence in this life is valued...in this life you can regain everything you have lost, but not a moment stolen.
 © g!o.inked

The poem below pretty much speaks for itself. This is to all who have lost loved ones through depression and society pressure. Please learn to accept people as they are...we aren't gold to fold to whatever you want, we ain't perfect and just 'cause you are strong not all of us are strong...I wrote this because i am just sick of people always expecting us and to show the world to what extent you drive us...I am a loner and i love it that way, i love my solitude and i don't want to be what the society wants me to be. It is simple, accept me and love me for who i am or just find the next exit, but i am not going to fold to what does not please me. Cheers.

Beautiful Decay

You were just a fragile angel masked in imperfection

Whispered by the heavens to not last in this life

Now I live with the misery of pain of your absence

As I rip myself from the inside in hunt for a reason

On what’s the meaning of this if you won’t get to read it

Forgive me that I could not attend your burial

I could not stand the sight of the dark clouded crowd

I just wish you told me you were about to leave

At least I would be freed from this wretched mortality

To be in the next world we imagined as always together

Everybody is unsighted to the load that weighs me down

They keep on saying that I am holding to what’s gone

What if the past is the only present you have to live?

What if tomorrow holds nothing for it seeks freedom too?

To me the wine in this golden cup no longer tastes sweet

I wish I’d convince you it is not too late to stay alive

For I have become nothing but a sailor without a map

Please please promise me if I die tonight and join you

That in the after life you’ll for eternity stay alive

But if you ever decide to leave again, let me live with you

No bullet have I encountered can hush the scar in my brain

Each night I am enslaved by nightmares of our memories

I wake up drowning and fighting for air in the pool of my tears

When I stay awake reality cuts every edge of life trapped in me

Please come salvage me from this nightmare I am drowning into

I hope tonight I will find strength to sleep into a comatose

Maybe overdose of Vicodin and Prozac to keep me asleep forever

For I am out to search for a near death experience

Just for a night to be near you and near the ones behind

For I seek a chance to know that you are in safe hands

I loved it when people nicknamed us The Misery Misfits

Tell me the next world is real like in the movie Lovely Bones

Do you hold memories of how we wanted to be in a psychic ward?

But now I am alone in a medium ward, it totally sucks

For they put me to sleep whenever I scream I miss you

People will never understand how lovely you were

For you did put out your light before you shone bright

I hope you get to read this and cry just as I am

Not because it is your final poem embossed with pain

But because you wish I was there with you

Today I met the popular kids who used to bully us

Wearing false grievance masked with regrets

They even told me to go hang out with them tonight

I guess finally your death has robbed butterflies their color

Finally the owls find the reason to sleeping at night

To the rest of the world out there literate to read

I wish these words were a half empty of what I feel inside

You seize the life of your loved ones in your flimsy palms

Taking away your life steals away more than just one life

For now I bid fare-thee-well to my sanity and my best friend

I guess you’ve finally given me a Walk To Remember

I smile through tears knowing I encountered an angel

“Don’t call me an angel,” you always said.

“All these angels are only here for a moment.”

Here in my last words I kiss your shadows goodbye

As the rest say Rest In Peace you’ll be missed,

For me Return If Possible I miss you

R.I.P & I love You

© g!o.inked 

Yes, yes, yes...my bucket list...the list i can't survive without. We all know what bucket list is...but for those who don't know what this is...well this is that list that contains all the things you wish to to do, or places you wish to travel to or even food you always wish/want to eat eat before your living time clicks to zero (die)...well, i have been modifying mine ever since i don't know when 'cause when you grow up you, you outgrow some of the passions. Well so here is my bucket list of which i hope i'll manage to clear before i die...God help me, i haven't even done a quarter of the list....so here we go (the one(s) with tick, are accomplished) lol, that if there's any.

Bucket/Wish List
1. Reach the peak of Mt. Kenya....yes, why would i want to start elsewhere if charity begins at home.
2. Visit Australia. This has been my childhood dream and somehow the only dream that i have managed to keep to date. Most definitely, i'll start with Sidney and it beautiful Opera House then to the beautiful coral reefs. I hope this happens to be around New Year, i heard the town gets really colorful during this period.
3. Travel to Nevis. Why? Because my favorite character in my novel in progress is named after this Caribbean island.
4. Visit Charleston, South Carolina. My book made me fall in love with this town. Since the setting of the book is Charleston and i have never been there physically,  i had to do a lot of research about the town and everything about it just made the baby in me scream YAY!! Definitely this is a MUST!!
5. Visit Ko Phi Phi Don, Thailand. This has always been my most desired vacation destination. What more can i say about it? Nada!! Just google it and you'll see the beauty.
6. Watch a movie in a drive-in theater. I know this is so old school and so "The Notebook" movie, but come on, what beats the thrill of watching a movie in a field in your car, with that special someone?
7. Publish a minimum of three books. Okay i know as an author (to-be), i should be talking about thirty books or something, okay that will happen when that time comes but as per now i just want to have my first novel, my poem collection and inspiration stuff in paperback...the rest will come with time.
8. Help someone fulfill a goal. Not for fame or anything but because even i myself i am where where i am because of hands that decided to spare time for me.
9. Go night camping. Okay this totally is insane that i have never been to night camping...day camping, yes i have done that when i was still a scout but i'd so love to spend time just under the stars in nature. I'm planning for one to happen this December, i hope it'll come to happen.
10. Write myself a letter and read it ten years letter. Okay i don't know how i can explain this :D but i find it interesting. I am to write a letter now and never open it until i am thirty-three, i hope the thirty-three year old me, won't be disappointed in the twenty-three year old me.
11. Go sky diving. Totally and seriously who doesn't want to do this? I know i am freakishly afraid of heights but this is the ultimate bonus. At least it will corroborate to me that i can achieve anything.After this certainly i will try bungee jumping.
12. Watch all Marilyn Monroe movies. Well so far, i have managed five.
13. Watch top 100 movies of all time. Yeah this related to the one above and congratualtions to me i have watched like only sixteen. Damn that's bad, well the list is not ever constant and varies a lot but as for me i follow imdb movie list and life'd movie list. http://www.lifed.com/top-100-best-movies-of-all-time and http://www.imdb.com/chart/top
14. Get passionate about a cause. Okay currently i am supporting cancer, breast cancer cause specifically, not that because i lost someone to it but i was researching about it because in my first novel there's a character who is a victim to it and my third novel is a bout a lady succumbing to it. The research did open my eyes to a lot of things and that's why i decided to take it.
15. Take a week long technology hiatus. Yep...a week away from anything that has technology embedded to it. So far i think i have managed two days and that was because i traveled to a very remote place.
16. Throw a huge party and invite all my friends. Okay i have done this except it was not huge.
17. Learn how to play piano perfectly.
18. Record at least three songs, not for fame or anything but just so that one day my child(s) can listen to.
19. Drive a Pontiac Solstice GXP coupe or Jeep Wrangler (whichever edition).
20. Have two dogs, preferably German Shepherds. I basically i am not a fan of pets and since i can't legally own a shark plus it is a bit stressful, I want to have these two.
21. and the final one, set foot on all seven continents. Yes that's right, Africa, Asia, N.America, S.America, Antarctica, Europe and Australia. I hope you don't need glasses to figure out why it is the last on the list. If i can accomplish everything up the list, that means i have finally somehow stepped on all the seven continents.

On the picture is the beautiful twin peaks of Mt. Kenya...So so far, i noticed i haven't accomplished any of the things above, maybe, just maybe because the list is an updated one, there are certain things i am sure i have accomplished that i always wanted to do while i was young, like writing a poem that can draw more than five people to tears.
Everybody should have a bucket list. Stop living a mundane life and make one if you don't have one, or better yet just watch the movie Bucket list, starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson and you'll definitely understand what i am talking about . §
In case you need help with creating your bucket list,  just google Bucket List and it will bring you the cool sites that have some crazy ideas of what to do before you kick the bucket. Damn i should have added "stop biting my nails" in the list above...but then, i enjoy this lol...
Next...let's wait and see my top five everything list. Cheers.
© g!o.inked

So a couple of weeks ago i started a poetry contest on Writer's Cafe and i made a promise to the winners that each of them will have their works posted on my blog. I'll start with the winner of the contest.Ever wondered where poetry is born? No words explain this better than the way Kecil have done it here...Enjoy!!!

Dichotomous Poetry by Penulis Kecil
II
We are taught in school to open
a poem, pull out the pieces
make their meanings our playthings.

Poets, they tell us,
weigh each word, search
for nuance unbreathed,
so we learn 16 words the poet could have chosen
in place of the "cerulean" that paints an ocean
across our mindscape and upon our tongues.

We imagine the fingers of his heart
caressing the language, visualise
a pair of hands to hold each word
to the light, to measure it against another.

So we find the poet within-
uncover him in our own self
and sew his work up again;
we give it a new soul,
new meaning.


I
And it may be that some poets weigh their words
on household scales, with lines upon the wall
to mark how tall the last stood; fit them
into each other like the pieces of a jigsaw.



And it may be that some poets taste their words
licked from a spoon, a pinch of this
to match a shake of that; assembled
together like a recipe for the perfect meal.



It is that I would rather divine language's chords
risen in crescendo, blended
in its own harmony; composed
into a symphony whispered in my ear.

http://www.writerscafe.org/penuliskecil