The poem below pretty much speaks for itself. This is to all who have lost loved ones through depression and society pressure. Please learn to accept people as they are...we aren't gold to fold to whatever you want, we ain't perfect and just 'cause you are strong not all of us are strong...I wrote this because i am just sick of people always expecting us and to show the world to what extent you drive us...I am a loner and i love it that way, i love my solitude and i don't want to be what the society wants me to be. It is simple, accept me and love me for who i am or just find the next exit, but i am not going to fold to what does not please me. Cheers.

Beautiful Decay

You were just a fragile angel masked in imperfection

Whispered by the heavens to not last in this life

Now I live with the misery of pain of your absence

As I rip myself from the inside in hunt for a reason

On what’s the meaning of this if you won’t get to read it

Forgive me that I could not attend your burial

I could not stand the sight of the dark clouded crowd

I just wish you told me you were about to leave

At least I would be freed from this wretched mortality

To be in the next world we imagined as always together

Everybody is unsighted to the load that weighs me down

They keep on saying that I am holding to what’s gone

What if the past is the only present you have to live?

What if tomorrow holds nothing for it seeks freedom too?

To me the wine in this golden cup no longer tastes sweet

I wish I’d convince you it is not too late to stay alive

For I have become nothing but a sailor without a map

Please please promise me if I die tonight and join you

That in the after life you’ll for eternity stay alive

But if you ever decide to leave again, let me live with you

No bullet have I encountered can hush the scar in my brain

Each night I am enslaved by nightmares of our memories

I wake up drowning and fighting for air in the pool of my tears

When I stay awake reality cuts every edge of life trapped in me

Please come salvage me from this nightmare I am drowning into

I hope tonight I will find strength to sleep into a comatose

Maybe overdose of Vicodin and Prozac to keep me asleep forever

For I am out to search for a near death experience

Just for a night to be near you and near the ones behind

For I seek a chance to know that you are in safe hands

I loved it when people nicknamed us The Misery Misfits

Tell me the next world is real like in the movie Lovely Bones

Do you hold memories of how we wanted to be in a psychic ward?

But now I am alone in a medium ward, it totally sucks

For they put me to sleep whenever I scream I miss you

People will never understand how lovely you were

For you did put out your light before you shone bright

I hope you get to read this and cry just as I am

Not because it is your final poem embossed with pain

But because you wish I was there with you

Today I met the popular kids who used to bully us

Wearing false grievance masked with regrets

They even told me to go hang out with them tonight

I guess finally your death has robbed butterflies their color

Finally the owls find the reason to sleeping at night

To the rest of the world out there literate to read

I wish these words were a half empty of what I feel inside

You seize the life of your loved ones in your flimsy palms

Taking away your life steals away more than just one life

For now I bid fare-thee-well to my sanity and my best friend

I guess you’ve finally given me a Walk To Remember

I smile through tears knowing I encountered an angel

“Don’t call me an angel,” you always said.

“All these angels are only here for a moment.”

Here in my last words I kiss your shadows goodbye

As the rest say Rest In Peace you’ll be missed,

For me Return If Possible I miss you

R.I.P & I love You

© g!o.inked 

So i have to admit love really sucks..or it don't suck until things get worse...yeah that moment you become strange to the one person who could see right through you. I mean seriously why do people change when they shouldn't change the most? 

I fell in love, enjoyed it while it lasted and i was convinced that it was going to last for always...sure enough all it did was lust for always which never came. One day she woke up and i become a stranger to her. She just flipped and didn't want to see me or talk to me. I have torched every corner of my heart and burnt it down looking for "why(s)" but i never got one. I tried to cry but no tear fell down my cheek...it is not that i didn't love her but sometimes you get hurt till you just don't know what to do but pen down the tearless grief of your broken heart.

Well if you read this one day, i hope you understand i never hated you but i hated myself for convincing myself that this was in way different, break my walls down and leave myself vulnerable to you to shoot right through me and desert me torn. The is "the" how much i needed you...

Fading April

You have poisoned my thoughts with your memories

You have become nothing but the death of me

Bit by bit you consume the soul of me

Lift me up then drop me from your silver lining

Break and restore before you break me again

Is your philosophy, as you drink from my pain

Cut me wide open before you walk right through me

My pain your pleasure, my loss your gain

I wake up each morning mourning at your smile

I beg of you please take a break on me

I beg of you to please break my heart

I beg of you to please release me from your wrath

Please just make smile with your absence

Your absence that has scarred me with scars to forever last

Go ‘head and put a cup next to my chin as I cry

Go brag to the world about the latest addition in your collection of hearts

Write it in the sky-line that you are happy

Tell it to the world how you really loved me

Tell them you never meant it and I was the one weak

And I’ll just be making you notes that say “I MISS YOU”

I’ll ink every single letter with blood from my scars

I’ll sink every single pillow with my teary nights

I’ll think everyday why you avoid me yet it hurts me

And I’ll thank you everyday for the love that you gave me

I know it’s not in the options but I still pray you stay

But when you stay you put knife right through my heart

And when you go you rip it out leaving me in broken parts

So as you fade with this month of April I’ll whisper your name

In this poem sealed with lies through so many tears