Fading April

So i have to admit love really sucks..or it don't suck until things get worse...yeah that moment you become strange to the one person who could see right through you. I mean seriously why do people change when they shouldn't change the most? 

I fell in love, enjoyed it while it lasted and i was convinced that it was going to last for always...sure enough all it did was lust for always which never came. One day she woke up and i become a stranger to her. She just flipped and didn't want to see me or talk to me. I have torched every corner of my heart and burnt it down looking for "why(s)" but i never got one. I tried to cry but no tear fell down my cheek...it is not that i didn't love her but sometimes you get hurt till you just don't know what to do but pen down the tearless grief of your broken heart.

Well if you read this one day, i hope you understand i never hated you but i hated myself for convincing myself that this was in way different, break my walls down and leave myself vulnerable to you to shoot right through me and desert me torn. The is "the" how much i needed you...

Fading April

You have poisoned my thoughts with your memories

You have become nothing but the death of me

Bit by bit you consume the soul of me

Lift me up then drop me from your silver lining

Break and restore before you break me again

Is your philosophy, as you drink from my pain

Cut me wide open before you walk right through me

My pain your pleasure, my loss your gain

I wake up each morning mourning at your smile

I beg of you please take a break on me

I beg of you to please break my heart

I beg of you to please release me from your wrath

Please just make smile with your absence

Your absence that has scarred me with scars to forever last

Go ‘head and put a cup next to my chin as I cry

Go brag to the world about the latest addition in your collection of hearts

Write it in the sky-line that you are happy

Tell it to the world how you really loved me

Tell them you never meant it and I was the one weak

And I’ll just be making you notes that say “I MISS YOU”

I’ll ink every single letter with blood from my scars

I’ll sink every single pillow with my teary nights

I’ll think everyday why you avoid me yet it hurts me

And I’ll thank you everyday for the love that you gave me

I know it’s not in the options but I still pray you stay

But when you stay you put knife right through my heart

And when you go you rip it out leaving me in broken parts

So as you fade with this month of April I’ll whisper your name

In this poem sealed with lies through so many tears