Okay I'll start with answering a question I'm always asked; "why doth my writing always emboss sadness?" Well here is the plain truth, Jim Morrison once said, "Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they are wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it." Truth is I don't take pleasure in pain, it's just that I adore diversity and since modern age poetry and writing is about love and heartbreaks, what makes me me if I dwell in that same circle? So I took the path of a wake up call, that path that people are assuming doesn't exist when daily we do know it is there. For example some of my previous poems talk about society pressure upon those who can blend in, we assume we are not killing them that they are the ones killing themselves and nobody wants to talk about them, so I wrote it. In this next poem called Cinderella and Prince Something talks about two leukemia victims who are teenagers and their last minute love.At first I really didn't want to share this piece with the world but then for the support of fight against all sorts of cancer, I have to...I hope you enjoy it or...you enjoy it....

Cinderella and Prince Something
The minute finger was echoing in her dark hope
Reminding her she was one of them at the bus stop
The ride of her lifetime assured of no return
Shivering in the arms of pain under her blanket
At fourteen, terminated and to be erased

She closed her eyes, counted her departing dreams
Every girl was usually rescued by her knight
Her mom found her dad and her sister, a boyfriend
She guessed her knight must’ve gotten lazy to armor up
At fourteen, she had never kissed a boy

She heard a mild, nervous yet a beautiful voice
She didn’t open her eyes for she knew it was a trance
With dashing hopes she hoped it was her chance
To be rescued and for once feel an embrace of a boy
At fourteenth count she opened her eyes to a beauty

He was sixteen with blue eyes that outstood his bland skin
With a frozen smile he told her she was beautiful
Strangest word from a stranger yet familiar from the family
I see Horoscope lied when it said cancers can’t love each other
At fourteen, she finally felt she belonged to this world

She became a Cinderella and he was prince something
He took her to two dates and a masquerade party
While others were clothed as monsters and princesses
They went as two leukemia patients with no deceit
At sixteen minutes to midnight she finally had her first kiss

After her first kiss she never heard again from him
She got angry when she thought she wasn’t cute in bald
Or maybe her lips had a savor of blood she had puked
Or maybe it was midnight and she outgrew her shoes
At fourteen, she had sixteen minutes of love

An ocean once serene turned to a sad song
The only tune she knew ended before her first dance
Others hated life while to them life was a riddle
It was something in his smile that gave her strength
It was his smile that made her live fourteen minutes longer

Her silence bled regrets of joy she robbed her family
She was worried of watching them troubled by her
So she asked for one last sunset to kiss her goodbye
So she asked for one last sunset to kiss her welcome
Fourteen and sixteen dead but with beating hearts

Four minutes away still your tongues reading this
Three minutes away she smiled hopelessly
Two minutes away she hugged her family
A minute away she hugged her prince’s absence
No minute away she found him waiting for her

He said to me, “You leave while we wait.”
She said to me, “You live while we fade.”
©g!o.inked

Have you ever just taken a minute and paused everything you are doing and just look in the face of people passing by you one by one? I did, and it is heart wrenching how a lot of people are going through a lot of hidden pain in them. Everybody is just a walking volcano and most of these people's pain is triggered by other people who ignored just shutting up or speaking the right words when needed.

This is my letter to all those who are going through that pain and social depression. I am with you.

People are going to treat you bad, walk on you no matter how nice you try to be to them. They are going to make you cry and you are going to feel like life hates you because you give it the best and in return people give you their worst. Don't give up, just never give up because I promise you that it gets better. All the pain that hurts in your heart will one day fade and once again, the magic waterfall will pour in your heart. No matter what you are going through, shed your tears, forgive them and just humble yourself; remember fire doesn't cool fire but water heals the burns...where you sow good, it is good that you will reap; love only comes where it is invited and God only saves those who are broken. Whenever they pin you down, think of Christ; he was spat on, he was beaten, abused and killed by the same people he came to save, but never even for once did he think of vengeance as much as he had the power of God in his palms. For he knew victory that comes with the wounds is always the sweetest. Don't let people change you...be God's instrument and His rewards will amaze you. Remember people can only mistreat you if they are intimidated by you but always take the high road, don't stoop to their level.
© g!o.inked

So finally i managed to pen down the emotions that were clouding my heart and preventing me from dealing with my past. It is amazing how you can get over someone without moving on and that's the single mistake i guess i have been doing each time my relationships fall off the edge of the cliff. So for the first time i am going to chin up, dust the dust off my coat and say, i am fine and mean it without hiding treasure that i still carry from the past. But first things first...drain off all the emotions in your heart.

So i am going to take step by step as i update this diary of a silly Gemini on my progress...so this is day one...i flush off the emotions that i hide in me, be it anger or love and the best way for me is to write a poem. Amazingly i did manage to write this one below...so i blog it

LEAKING FACE

Here I am penned in pain writing you the last of us

I write this sitting among mourning chamber of gods

Who weep for me and dry their tears with clouds above

So that I can quench my pain from drinking theirs

I am the loser who awaits to fall as winner takes it all

I try to pretend everyday that you and I are over

I clothe truth with garments of lies about my pain

Until yesterday when I heard the winds whisper your name

Your name with someone’s who had replaced mine

I choked from the stench of memories I can’t erase

And lies that you had me enslaved with by you

How you painted a perfect picture of hope I held dearly

About tomorrows that you held so high just to tease me

How foolish was I to fight just to hold onto nothing

Like when I tried to kiss you and you pushed me away

Why couldn’t I see that you were saving your lips for him?

Another victim you’ve lured by your charms that now kill me

To you it was so easy jumping out of a flying plane

Because you knew we would fall so you brought your parachute

You landed on your feet and made merry at my broken pieces

I died and resurrected from the misery you left me in

But despite growing wings I find myself crawling back to you

Because I hunger for your pain that you had me addicted

You gave me so much endless nights on short days

The best adventures of my life I explored them with you

But you took me deep in the jungle where for a reason I never saw

Until you left me because you knew I’d be lost without you

Thanks to you now I can see the world in a single color

Thanks to you now I can’t listen to my favorite songs

Because they play nothing but memories on how we danced to them

You’re the last hero in armored suit that I’ll ever need to save me

For you come protected with an ambition to wreck me

Then brag that you kept your heart safe from me

This love was never a game for winner to be crowned

But truth is we were just racing for a destiny that was never there

You won and finally found that one to replace me

All I did was write Fading April hoping it would quench me

I hope you use my silly jokes I made to make you smile on him

And lie that I’m just someone you don’t want to remember

When we know that I am the past that gave you your present

Don’t worry I am not in tears I just have a leaking face

Melting from the candle lit at the base of my heart

As I become a record that broken hearts play

© g!o.inked

Okay this pretty long but ensure you read it for it's really useful.

Each and every single minute we interact with different people in our lives. Knowing or un-knowingly and with a single act or word towards them changes a lot plus it changes a huge number of people. Within your palms you hold destiny that is not only yours but of a lot people. Here is a story:

John’s alarm rung at 6.00am as always to wake him up and prepare for work, but today John was still exhausted from the fun he had the previous night with his girlfriend to be Julia. So instead of waking up, he stretches his hand and accidentally knocks the clock to the floor leaving the clock broken. At 8.00am Julia is disturbed by the absence of John at work, thus she decides to call him. John still suffering from confusion, he rushes outside his house and accidentally steps on a ball that was left at his doorstep by the neighbor’s kid. He trips landing on his butt leaving him with a scratch on his arm.

He furiously walks into the neighbor’s house to find the mother of the kid, Jenny, sleeping on the couch. He yelled at Jenny on how irresponsible she is and she shouldn’t even think of herself as a mother. As he walks out he slams the door behind him leaving Jenny jaw-dropped. Jenny in the meanwhile was actually thinking of how life at her house has become a living hell. She takes a few minutes to think of how minutes before John walked in she prayed for a miracle, for someone to just walk in and tell her that everything is going to be alright. She regains her conscience, picks her phone and calls her husband Jeremy who happens to be interviewing someone for job and asks for a divorce.

Upon hearing this news, Jeremy reacts by shouting at the interviewee (who actually happens to qualify for the job) for accidentally knocking the files on the table to the floor as she was standing up and telling her that the company doesn’t need mindless people and under-educated like her. Jessica, the interviewee, who happens to be turned down now for the seventh time in a row, leaves the office hurt and disappointed at the fact that her parents could not afford taking her to a college that she wanted and studying what she wanted. She leaves the building crying and considering herself not worthy of anything. She suddenly gets a call from her boyfriend Jude who wanted to meet her for coffee.

After roughly fifteen minutes, Jessica joins Jude at a café, Jude looks happy and optimistic in his heart knowing that Jessica had forgiven him for the infidelity he had with Judith a couple of weeks ago. In her heart, Jessica is happy at the thought of at least spending the afternoon with the one she loves. As she sits down at the table trying to hide the pain of losing another Job opportunity she fakes a smile to please Jude. They start a chat but after sometime Jude notices she is not really up for talking and fumes at her that she can’t let go of little things even after apologizing. Not able to take it any more, she yells at him and walks out on him leaving him sitting.

Jude leaves the café pissed off and makes a call to Joel his friend. After a few minutes Joel pulls by and Jude hopes in. Along the way Joel asks Jude why the sad face but instead, the short tempered Jude answers Joel in a rude manner. This offends Joel and the two friends involve themselves in a verbal fight, in the meantime Joel pays a little attention to the road and accidentally hits a girl that was coming outside a bookstore from buying his to-be boyfriend a novel that he so much wanted. The screech of the accident draws attention to the pedestrians and those in the near-by buildings.

Meanwhile, John who was being lectured by his boss Jade for reporting late to work just stands there lost in thoughts about the next date he would have with Julia tonight but suddenly a fellow worker, Jasmine, rushes in and alerts them of the accident outside. John on reaching outside he slowly manages to squeeze himself through the packed crowd and succeeds to be at the front only to see Julia covered in blood, lying next to her is the book he was telling her about the previous night. The Diary: Chronicles of Neill. End of the story ♣

Be careful on how you live your life. A single small act that you could have just turned around but instead avoided can kill a lot of people. Be the source of hope to people. Be the miracle they are looking for. If only John wouldn’t shout at his neighbor Jenny, he maybe would have saved the marriage of Jenny and Jeremy, Jessica would have gotten the job, Joel wouldn’t be going behind bars and maybe John would happily have married Julia.

Legal Disclaimer: The characters and events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.