So today i want to to talk about my role models, those that i always look up to as an example and my trend-setters. Well i have been thinking about them and what makes them special to add them to my list or what make me think i want to be like them. It's rather absurd that most of them of them were either drug addicts, are dead or people term them as nuts but i love them.

So first, what do i look for in a role model? See, basically role models are people that we want to be like but as for me, they are people who were somehow like me but i want to be either bigger or better than them so that's why somehow you'll find them as people that society really never appreciated them that much...but i love them because, it is from them that i have learned how to deal with certain stuff and people and life in general, 'cause i say "if he could manage to rise above that problem why can't i?"

So without further a due, let me get  to them...

1. Marilyn Monroe

Yes, Norma Jeane Mortenson, widely known as Marilyn Monroe. Okay right now i know she is a figure that a lot of girls and dudes look up to and worship, plus statics show that she is the celebrity figure that has gained the most fame after her death than when she was alive. Her merchandise have surpassed E. Presley's and M. Jackson's and even The Beatles. 50 years after her death and her fan base keeps grown more and more each and everyday. I must say i am proud of her, i'd want my legacy to live on like that, i'd rather be famous after my death than when i'm alive, because after you die you become a god among men. So what makes Norma Jeane a tick? Well looking at her personal life growing up, she went through some evil stuff like being stuffed into a bag by her own mother, moving from one foster home to another, sexual assaults and torture among others and despite all these she held her dream in her heart that one day she'd grow into a big star. Even after her breakthrough, trouble did not seem to have abandoned her. Most of her relationships were a wreck and when you follow her story well you'll notice she was the girl screaming in the Cinderella dress. Despite the fame and everything, she just wanted to be normal but she could never match the patch....the misunderstood type. Basically that's the type of person that i am too. Despite always being the adored, i still feel like i never belong plus my life is always full of drama and that which everybody want to poke there nose in and not to forget my past, i grew up around some really harsh environment. I love her in the fact despite all the drama she managed to rise and sit with presidents and made herself a brand that people will forever remember. I don't wish to sit among kings and queens but i do hope that my work will some day be the voice to the ones always shut out. Like Norma once said, "Behind the make up and behind the smile, i am just a girl who wishes for the world"...so to shut the speculations, i hope you understand that i love her not just because she is a Gemini, but for many reasons.
R.I.P Monroe, i wish you could see how much we love you now.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe

2. Eminem

Yeah, this is the part that everybody always goes "What the heck?" and i answer, "you heard me right." Marshal Bruce Mathers III is my second role model. We pretty much all know the background of Marshal. Growing in the black neighborhood, growing up without a dad and his relationship with his mom plus being one of the first white rappers emerging into rap industry. I am not going to go into so much details of his life but we all know him and either love or hate Marshal from his rebel attitude and from him i have come to learn that the society always wants to create you into whoever it wants, thus making a lot of people afraid to stand up and stand out. Everybody is made to believe that speaking your mind is being imperfect and thus if you speak what you think, you are not good. Well most call Marshall a bad influence but i have never heard it anywhere stated that Hailie his daughter, is smoking pot or not going to school, that makes him somebody that can foster a good child then...i speak my mind a lot and i am basically not harmed by it, for i know that when i bottle all that stuff up in me, i'll either end up retarded or dead by 25. From Marshall i have learned that, do whatever you love, go for your dreams at the end of the day not everybody will approve your path. From him i learned that, the pains that people cause me, i can them use as the stones to build myself with, after all being different does not make you a victim but special. "I say what I want to say and do what I want to do. There's no in between. People will either love you for it or hate you for it."

3 David
I am talking about David from the Old Testament for those who know what bible is :') ...I understand to some people he is just a make up story just like superman and stuff, but when the only book you get to read as a child looking for a better tomorrow is bible, then you'll believe that he is real. To me not only is he real, but also my hero. From what aspects though? Well i am a Christian and all those who are like me know that the only thing that makes you special is your faith in God. David growing up, he was the last born in his family and the one that was considered the only thing he could do better is sing and look over the flock of his father. Pretty much if you look at my family i am not well built and strong like my brother neither am i all that smart like my sisters, in fact i used to be one of those considered weak in primary school. Nobody believed David could face Goliath and deliver Philistines in the hands of Israelis, but he had faith that nothing could stop the power that was living in him and with just a sling and a stone, he brought Philistines to their knees. I love that, if i can just have even a drop of that faith whenever i face any challenge in life...i am sure nothing can bring me down. David too rose from nothing to a name that we all know will reign forever. I too want to have that sort of faith that you live each and everyday knowing there's someone you can rely on.

4. My Dad
Well nobody fits this part better than my dad since he is one person i have witnessed life from him first hand. From a distance when you look at him, all you'll see is just an ordinary person, an ordinary dad but i am who i am today because of him. I never grew up with my mother and as we all know how most fathers would be, all reckless and stuff, my daddy never for once forgot that he had kids to look after and he would sacrifice all he had just so that he can see my brother and i happy. From him i have known how to be a better parent someday when i have my kids...at least i'll know how to raise them. From his big heart i have learned how to feel what people go through and never to overlook anyone. From his struggle i now can persevere through the fire (that is a facetious statement, don't try to pour hot coal on me)...and the list is long but you can google Four-to-Nine Steps and read more about him from that poem i poem i wrote. 
 
So there they are, like i said my role models are either dead or considered bad influence; at least my dad doesn't fit in both categories. My role models don't influence my career path as in the case i see among most people...no, mine influence how i handle my life. So don't confuse my mentors and role models. My mentors guide me on how to better myself in different areas of my life and my skills but not my whole life, the likes of Joel Osteen, Oscar Wilde, Emily Dickinson, Niccolo Machiavelli among others...

My role models though, are people who set the standard for me and i try to live above it.... 

Next i'll discuss about my mentors. Cheers.

© g!o.inked  

By the way when i say I.Q i mean Internet Quizes not the other intelligence thingy...i was bored i had nothing to do and i love pretending that i am a celebrity and i am being interviewed...so this my moment of fame went...




What is your name?: Gio
Are you named after anyone?: Yes
Would you name a child of yours after you?: Nope
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: Corrine
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: I don't know
Are there any mispronunciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: Yes, always
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: Never

Basics
Your gender:: Male
Straight/Gay/Bi:: Straight
Single?: Till proven
If not, do you want to be?: Oh man...
Birth-date:: 04th
Your age:: 23
Age you act:: 57
Age you wish you were:: 23
Your height:: 5'8"
Eye color:: Ebony brown
Happy with it?: Nope
Hair color:: Dusty black
Happy with it?: I think i look good with red
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: ambide-what? Right
Your living arrangement:: Parallel
Your family:: I love em
Have any pets?: Is a doll a pet?
Whats your job?: Cashier/Indie Author and poet/Ghostwriter
Piercings?: Nope
Tattoos?: Nope
Obsessions?: Books
Addictions?: Biting my nails
Do you speak another language?: Yes
Have a favorite quote?: *itch run. He's gon kill you!!
Do you have a webpage?: diary-of-gio.blogspot.com

Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?: I doubt
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Yes
Do you have any secrets?: Just 1 or maybe 2 or 3 or 4 oh jeez they’re plenty
Do you hate yourself?: Never
Do you like your handwriting?: Yes on keyboard
Do you have any bad habits?: Yes
What is the compliment you get from most people?: You are crazy gio
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: The Diary: Chronicles of Neill
Can you sing?: Yes
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Yes...that i am Eminem
Are you a loner?: Yes
What are your #1 priorities in life?: Seeing the ones i love happy
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Definitely, i mean am cool
Are you a daredevil?: Somehow
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: That i might end up not having nails one day
Are you passive or aggressive?: Depends if it is after coffee or before
Do you have a journal?: diary-of-gio.blogspot.com
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: Caring and caring
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: Length of my hair to be long
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: I doubt
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Not taking chances
Do you think life has been good so far?: So far so good not best
What do you like the most about your body?: My brains
And least?: Nails
Do you think you are good looking?: Excuse me, people get killed by cars b'coz of me. I mean they keep saying i am Johny Depp
Are you confident?: Yes
What is the fictional character you are most like?: Clark Kent
Are you perceived wrongly?: That i am an alien

Do You...
Smoke?: It's been awhile, I just did try though
Read the newspaper?: Only cartoons and T.V guide
Pray?: Everyday
Go to church?: Depends on your definition of church
Talk to strangers who IM you?: Yes
Sleep with stuffed animals?: Oh, my Jessica, I miss you
Take walks in the rain?: Yes
Talk to people even though you hate them?: I don't hate, i'm just not convinced to like them
Drive?: Mercedes SLK in Need For Speed
Like to drive fast?: Police are always chasing me for over speeding in Need For Speed

Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?: Yes
Hurt yourself?: Yes
Been out of the country?: Yes
Eaten something that made other people sick?: Lol no details
Been in love?: Yes
Gone skinny dipping?: Yes
Had a medical emergency?: Yes
Had surgery?: Nah
Ran away from home?: Yes when I was seven years old
Got beaten up?: Yes
Beaten someone up?: I owe it to my kung fu techniques
Been picked on?: Been a piñata yes
Been on stage?: Yes
Slept outdoors?: Nope
Thought about suicide?: A number of times
Pulled an all nighter?: Yes
If yes, what is your record?: like 3 days playing Play Station
Gone one day without food?: Yes
Talked on the phone all night?: Yes
Slept all day?: No, who does that by the way?
Killed someone?: Lol i kill a lot of people everyday in my brain everyday
Made out with a stranger?: No
Kissed the same sex?: pUKE!!!
Been betrayed?: Yes
Had a dream that came true?: Yes
Broken the law?: Severally
Met a famous person?: Yes
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: No, just intentionally
On purpose?: I've said yes
Stolen anything?: Yes
Been on radio/tv?: I was in a riot, yeah on T.V
Been in a mosh-pit?: No
Had a nervous breakdown?: No
Bungee jumped?: No
Had a dream that kept coming back?: Severally

Beliefs
Believe in life on other planets?: Yes
Miracles?: I am one
Astrology?: Yes
Magic?: Nope
God?: Yes
Satan?: Yhea i know he's there but don't get it twisted i don't believe in him
Santa?: Nope
Ghosts?: Yes
Luck?: No
Love at first sight?: I think but more of lust at first sight
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: Yes, it's called the balance
Witches?: Take of the W and replace with B, then yes
Easter bunny?: Nope
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: To God yes
Believe there’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: Nope
Do you wish on stars?: I don't believe in wishes

Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: Only biblical
Do you think God has a gender?: No answer
Do you believe in organized religion?: Huh?
Where do you think we go when we die?: First we soar on nothingness until the day Christ returns

Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: Oh yes
Who is your best friend?: Pinocchio
Your favourite inside joke?: Right now i am killing you in my imaginary world and you don't know
Newest?: Beth Kiszack
Shyest?: Sophie a.k.a Gabby Dans
Funniest?: 90% of my pals are funniest
Sweetest?: Schneidy
Closest?: Oh you're getting personal now huh?
Weirdest?: Charity
Smartest?: None of em lolest
Ditziest?: Giovanni
Friends you miss being close to the most?: Soph, Mercy, Fred, Liyah and Kate
Last person you talked to online?: Mercy
Who do you talk to most online?: Kaya and Richie
Who are you on the phone with most?: Teddy, Allen, Djountel and Biasha...
Who do you trust most?: God
Who listens to your problems?: Pretty much all of them but Schneidy takes the trophy here
Who do you fight most with?: Soph lol oh and Richie
Do you always feel understood?: Yes my small circle does
Do you trust others easily?: Yes
Do your friends know you?: Yes
Friend that lives farthest away:: That would be Schneidy

Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: Oh no
What do you find romantic?: Not being interrupted while eating my favorite meal
Turn-on?: Appreciation
Turn-off?: Watching Nigerian movies
First kiss?: My ex
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: Like jumping off a 90 storey building
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: Most people pretend to be who they are not during the dating period so no
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: Don't they do that nowadays?
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: Lol yhea i don't know what i was on but i thought Fiona of Shrek is just wow
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: I am like the modern Tom Cruise to them but i am always like, oh please get yourself together gurls
What is best about the opposite sex?: Brains
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: Ego
Are you in love?: Well yhea
Do you consider your significant other hot?: You getting personal again buh yhea

Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?: Jeepers Creepers
You wanted to kill?: a cockroach
That you laughed at?: Patrick.
That laughed at you?: Patrick
That turned you on?: Don't you dare go there man
You went shopping with?: My ego
That broke your heart?: Really?
To disappoint you?: Obie
To ask you out?: Mercy
To make you cry?: ERROR!!
To brighten up your day?: Djountel
That you thought about?: My dad
You saw a movie with?: Patrick
You talked to on the phone?: My sister Bey
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: Brittnay
You saw?: Steve
You lost?: How?

Right This Moment...
Are you going out?: Nope I am indoor
Will it be with your significant other?: Refer to the previous
Or some random person?: Shut up are you missing a link in your brain
What are you wearing right now?: Rubber bands on my hand
What are you worried about right now?: How i am going to answer this question
What book are you reading?: The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Are you bored?: Of course
Are you tired?: Almost
Are you talking to anyone online?: Nope
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: Nope
Are you lonely or content?: Both actually
Are you listening to music?: Yes


© gio.inked

Somebody i did not catch his name once said, when your chances are slim and none, go with slim.

So here i am stuck again on this door that i am always afraid to knock or kick or just open. I mean seriously i know i can do it but basically i don't know what is holding me back. Okay maybe it is feear of failure, but how sure am i that i will be disappointed? i know all these great people that i look up to and adore, made their choice and if they were afraid of opening their doors i probably would be having no one to look up to. I know this ain't the living situation that i want, as a matter of fact i hate normal; it sucks. I want to be great, i want to be that person who when i walk out there on the street people will be whispering behind my back that, "ain't that him?"...yeah that's the sort of life that i want.

So this big question is how do i get there? Since i already know i can be there but how do i get there? What are the doors that i need to knock, kick or just open? Okay first let me see the areas of my strength...i can write music, i can rap music actually better than these people i see on telly, i can write poems that move people, i can write a book and stories...what else? i think i am good at inspiring people, actually the area that i get so much accolades from...mmmph i am not that versatile or maybe there are still some potential talents that i haven't discovered. But from these at least i know my major stronghold-point is writing. So i can be a writer. The big question is what am i doing about it? Um, nothing. Pretty much absurd. Okay i know they say that when you have a talent you don't have to see it pay for you to be happy, as long the world enjoys it...but did that person ever consider what will pay your bills if not your talent....i mean basically, i have to do what i love and that should entail the fact that what i am doing should support me too. I mean at one point or another i have to trade every single thought of mine for a dollar. I have put myself to test and so far people love my writing based on the comments i get like...oh i won't mention names though and i am only going to pick those that i found munificent

I just wanted to say again what a lot of talent you have, you somehow make the sweetest softest emotions come to life in your work without making them sappy or cliche; a skill i think a lot of the people here have yet to, or may never master. Its a thin line but you seem to walk it effortlessly. 

Takes a lot of skill. ~Anon

Your poem Leaking Face has been awarded Evoked a lot of emotion in the Deep Pain writing contest.

 

 Your poem Fading April has been awarded First Place in the Your Greatest Struggle writing contest.

 

Five out of five stars, I enjoy your writing style ~ Anon

 

 Jeez was that heavy. I think I need some therapy just for reading it. I entered the poem "After The Home Coming" about what I went through in 09 after my last Deployment in Iraq in the greatest struggle contest. The same contest this poem's in. Naturally I want to win but against this? I don't know. This is one intense poem man. Talk about broken painful emotion. Wow.. ~ Anon on Fading April Poem

When I first saw the length, I was reluctant to read. But then I started, and I'm...being honest here, I swear I'm on the verge of tears. This story has touched me, and it's funny I read it now, because I was feeling pretty down because I had a fight with one of my friends, and now, I'm actually picking up the phone to apologize. I can't even describe how the words said are so close to my heart, how this means so much to me, because I actually wanted encouragement, and this story is so uplifting, so motivational, and so very sad. Life is indeed short, and we must accumulate as much happiness as we can, and laugh and love like no other. I love the rush of emotions, the heavy flow, and well, this piece takes an honorary position in my 'Favorites' for me...~ Anon on Broken Ticking Clock  

 .....and others that i could not trace.

 

oh and a link to my trophy case  http://www.writerscafe.org/Gio/stats/awards/

So now what? Okay i am working on my first novel that still i can't call it a novel since it is far from over and the storyline keeps on unfolding more and more so i can't really count on it that i'll be some bestseller in a months time...nope. So that means i have to find something to do with the rest of my work because i just can't let them rot as i watch. Maybe i can try and find a space in a magazine company or even take my shot in music industry because sooner or later i'll have to make a choice or choice will make me.

So, today is September 12, 2012...i have three months to 2013. Will i still be sitting here the next time i revisit this post? The other night i was watching the great Steve Harvey talk about his life and how he ended up where he is right now. I can't deny that i envied every single drop of tear that was rolling down from his eyes on how he kept on explaining that you have to keep on living like that is the only option you have left. How God will give you the key to open doors but He will not open the doors for you....i bet this is my time. The difference between achievers and losers is three letters, TRY. Okay take in a deep breath, i know i can do this...i can do this.Mignon McLaughlin in her The Neurotic's Notebook stated that, courage can't see around corners, but goes goes around them anyway. I guess i have to just go around my corner. It's either i embrace the person i am right now and live content with it, or forge the path i want to follow and never look back despite whatever without how(s) and why(s). God help me....

So today marks my dad's birthday and i wanted to take time and thank God and for the prize of dad He gave me and since today is my dad's birthday and i could not afford to buy him a plasma TV or a car i wrote him a poem to show my appreciation and love...not to brag but i think i have the best and i would not mind to brag about that neither, for he managed to play a role that most fathers have failed. It is because of him that i have become a man and a son i am today.





Four-to-Nine Steps
From the primary thought that you needed me
For nine months you ensured my safety in mom
Patiently waited to see your likeness in your arms
And you rejoiced when you heard my first cry at last

You watched me peel like a bud to a flower
Like a farmer you cultivated me with patience and hope
Though weak, you held me strong when drought threatened
Gave me all of the least that you called yours

Every weekend you’d always take me on long walks
Sometimes I wished I could tell you I was tired
But I was just a kid and never understood why
You knew I’d grow away and you wanted to be with your son

I still remember I used to weep while you went away
I was scared of who would protect me
And when you stayed I’d want to be next to you
For it is by you that I felt safe and loved

You taught me how to forge my strength in life
And not to forget my humanity lest I die alone
I never had a mom like all of my friends
But you played the role better than I could ask for

The world finally robbed me off your arms
But you did not fight nor fear of what I may come
You trusted me to handle whatever thrown at me
And for your faith in me I thank you dad

Now I have grown into a man you smile with
When I look in the mirror it is you I see
And in my heart’s place I can feel it’s yours beating
Wherever I end up dad I still treasure you the most

From a distance it may look like now it’s your sun set
But instead brace yourself to watch your son rise
As you turn forty-nine today HAPPY BIRTHDAY
For I smile ‘cause you’re my father, my dad and my home.
 © g!o.inked