Okay this my new poem inspired by the movie Pirates of Caribbean and an incidence in my life. It is a matter where i tell you picture Captain Jack Sparrow as the man writing and writing this to her run-a-way damsel. It is one of my best poems i have written this year and it was really fun writing it.I hope you'll enjoy it.



NAME: Sail Away Ye Ol' Lover

Hearken t' me plea me fair beauty
I 'ave given ye me heart each time th' yellow sun rises
I 'ave ignored me mateys advice t' keep away from ye
'cause ye wonder in me mind than a cap'n lost at sea
Now no rum can quench th' pain o' ye ignorin' me
No wenches or bootey can feel th' void ye create in me
Let me ask ye, do ye find pleasure in me torture?
So sail away ye ol lover lest I drown 'n die in these waters

I loved it when I watched ye from a distance
Fer me feelin's towards ye were safely concealed
But ye said ye 'ave had yer spyglass upon me too
That from a distance ye were afeared ye were fallin' fer me
I sailed t' yer shore scourin' fer ye t' stretch ye me hand
Canât ye see I care nah fer me treasures but fer yer heart?
'tis harsh upon me t' pretend everyday that donât care about ye
Afore ye sink this galleon o' mine, sail away ye ol lover o' mine

How can ye be so beautiful yet so blind me ole lover?
How can ye pay attention yet nah hear a single word I speak?
'tis yer beautiful pebble colored eyes that I wants t' look into
'tis yer fair silk skin that I wants t' feel against mine
But Iâm jus' a smelly pirate wit' his rotten heart in jar
Always scourin' th' faces o' th' sea lookin' fer pleasures
Instead o' skewerin' me wit' yer frosted love
Bid me good-morrow 'n sail away ye ol lover

Okay a friend of mine wrote a poem that really caught my eyes and i thought it would be awesome if i post it here on my blog and share it with the world...i did not catch its title but at least i have its body...i hope you see between the lines and discover the same beauty that i saw in it too. At times like i do say, poetry speaks my mind better than i express myself in any other means. Cheers.

Courtesy of Maroa Range...

The earth is stained with human anguish,
By such infamous deeds we can’t dismiss,
Why should we all die in terrible torment,
Or be stuck down at any unjust moment.

With our beautiful cities laid waste in ashes,
When the army’s of the powers embrace in clashes,
While the horn of the oppressor is blown,
And the seeds of destruction are sown.

It is for the eyes of the world to find every fault,
And to correct them before our civilization is naught,
What good is it to say that victory was mine,
When in doing so I severed every family line.

Blacks and whites and all shades between,
Know we’re heading for more conflicts then there’s ever been,
And how will we receive Christ when he returns to earth again,
Will he be nailed to a cross once more by us.
ARE WE INSANE

I definitely had to share this. It is a poem about poetry from one of the writers I always admire most in Writers Cafe. When I came across this, I felt overwhelmed by its beauty embossed behind simplicity. It is one of those poems that you really don't have to struggle to understand but at the same time, they seem so complicated to be classified as just a simple poem. It truly defines to its tiny bit how poets view poems and I could not help but share this with the world. Nice work Whiskurz and thank you for letting me expose such beauty to the world. For the rest enjoy and feel free to view more of Whiskurz poems at http://www.writerscafe.org/Larry%20B

Name: Never Ending Need
Poet: Whiskurz

A poem should touch the inner core
Where feelings are only found
A place that you alone can see
Where love and hate abound

A poem is a tear before you cry
Or a smile before you feel
A little pain your being craves
Before your heart can heal

A poem is a memory cast aside
Before your mind is free
It's often dreams that's left behind
A misplaced destiny

A poem is what you feel inside
That makes you who you are
A poem is written with tears and blood
To mend that endless scar

A poem is felt before the words
And can cause your soul to bleed
A poem is never a state of mind
But a never ending need

So today I penned down a poem about what I have been feeling off late or what I have not been feeling off late. I say so because where I should be tasting sweet, to me it is tasting bitter. The hardest thing in life is trying to be in love where you feel you don't belong, and as much as you need to be in it and try to fit yourself in it, you still just don't feel it, you know. I met this amazing person and I really tried to work things out with her but it could not...not because of her but because of me. So leaving her meant breaking her heart. I guess the end sometimes justifies the means...she deserves better and so I had to leave my footsteps across her heart, I speak of it as if it is an easy move but it is not. So I penned this poem to dedicate it to her and to let my heart out to the rest of the seven billion people out there..cheers!!

This is my goodnight kiss and your goodbye lullaby
My hymn hoping to heal where I’m about to break
I so wish that these words taste better than I am sorry
For it’s unjust that my presence draws from you life

I really wish that this heart of me would be yours
That you’d be the splendor I awaken next to every dawn
To watch your eyes tango away step to step with shyness
As I whisper sweetness of romance novice to my imagination

But tell me how do I steer with my eyes stuck on rear view?
For my heart that you long for is enslaved in another’s arm
She who which from a distance is too blind to closely see me
Yet to you who is here next to me my heart shuts its eyes

The pain I put you through can’t allow me to stay to sober
I see your words and feel your actions of love that burns for me
Your hopes for us taste so sweet on my flavorless tongue
But I’m nothing but a dark ink writing your tale

I try with my all to feel the same way you feel for me
Instead of falling in love I’m drowning, suffocating in its pool
Dying from the fact that I can’t be the man I want for you
Love should burn in flames but in me it is just ashes

I wish it is you I can truly offer this fragile heart of mine
But you came a minute too late to bring it back from dead
For it hurts me that I meet the girl with all that I adore
But it is her that suffers from this bitter sweet of void in me

You say it is better to have anything than to be alone
But I am a lone wolf, a vessel, a human empty of emotions
And planting seeds on a rock won’t bring forth any fruit
No matter how you water it, the rock will only shatter

On my knees I beg for your mercies to charter me forgiveness
But if it’s beyond your means then do wish me well
For I was enthroned with a curse that every poet suffers
Poets do not fall in love; our hearts are in the pens we hold

I’m sorry that you aren’t the one amid my dreams and nightmares
For you are a beautiful human and I’m just a whisper of a song
©g!o.inked

We've all been there haven't we? That point in life where you feel like all the world is coming down crushing on you, like you've tried so much but no good is coming out of it...we've all been there haven't we? Some of us are still there while some of us are headed there right as you read this...it is scary...yes it is dark and hopeless, it is heart-breaking and painful but here is the thing; just when you think that it is never going to get any better you are always one step away from that door that you've been working for to see it open. I understand how harsh and heart wrenching your troubles might be...right now someone is falling apart because of a love gone sour, someone is tired of looking for job, someone is sick of the family that awaits him/her at home, someone is tired of being broke or even struggling with a job...truth is we've all been here and we are all here but just don't give up on yourself...i know the world might be staring at you behind a clown mask but i want you to know you are stronger than you can imagine and if you just don't give up on that which you are fighting for then you are simply one step away from achieving that which you've been looking for...you are just one day away...i cannot assure you that when you wake up tomorrow you'll find everything in place but i promise that if you wake up tomorrow you will one step ahead of where you are today. Don't view your troubles as your punishments for they are not...troubles come to teach us endurance and remind us that we have something to live for. Always remember that when the going gets tough, the tough get going...when life gets tough be tough too...don't be blinded by troubles that might be awaiting you tomorrow...give each day its due and don't worry about that which you have not seen. So listen, for i want you to remember this, your greatest test comes when you are close to the end of your troubles and the harsher your troubles the stronger you are, for we all know that God cannot let you handle that which you are not capable of...so just promise me that you won't wait for the train that's coming from the end of the tunnel but instead you'll go for the light yourself...waiting for that light is giving up, going for it is being strong. Everything that has a beginning has an end and so are the harsh times too...don't close your eyes, just stay focused on where you want to be.
©g!o.inked

So today I was woken up in the morning by my alarm tone at 6am like any other days except for the first time it felt different. I have never taken into account the song that I set as my alarm tone except for the fact that it has to be catchy or sung by my favorite musician. So the other night after updating my playlist and somehow lost some of the songs that I had, I was forced to chose a new alarm tone. I was freakishly sleepy so I could not scroll through the whole list listening to each song at that time so the furthest I could go was to letter D and I ended up on Dido songs, after listening to a couple of them I decided to select Life For Rent. When it got to 6am in the morning the song started playing and I found myself humming to it even before I opened my eyes. My point is this, it hit me today that when I did put just other catchy songs as my alarm tone, when the alarm went on it was so easy for me to hit the snooze button but to this song which happens to be one of my ever best songs when it started playing, I found myself not even struggling to wake up.

A 2011 Canadian study found that listening to your favorite music is one of the fastest ways to get rid of a bad mood and I am beginning to think that to avoid those crampy mornings, one should be careful on the songs that he/she select as a wake up tone. We all agree that when we are moody 98% of the time we resort to our favorite music to elate us. So basically listening to your favorite music as the first thing before you open your eyes it's like having your favorite breakfast in bed. Stop having those alarm tones that scare you out of bed. A day should begin in a good tone.

Another thing, have you ever realized that how you wake up in the morning most of the times determines how the rest of your day will be? Well when you wake up feeling exhausted your day pretty much will be a not-much-a-do-day...if you wake up full of energy then you have set your day in a good motion. Part of what we never realize is that most of the times we start our day postponing waking up in 5 minutes or even more when we hit that snooze button...I was reading Allison Mack's blog (most recognize her Chloe Sullivan from CW TV Series Smallville) and she explained the hitting the snooze button as, "Avoiding everything uncomfortable and pushing beginnings to the last second. I don’t think I want to have my days filled with the phrase “five more minutes”. No thank you. More like “right now”. I know they say patience is a virtue. But we don’t have many hours in our life. I would rather be awake than asleep." I suggest if you want to have five-minutes-more moment, try getting to bed five minutes earlier. Your life is a monotonous tone and and what you wake up practicing in the morning somehow in one way or another it will grow itself into your day. Final words...practice good waking up habits but first start with your alarm tone.

Below is the video to my favorite song ever done by the beautiful and amazing Dido...

(In case you can't see the video just visit the blog and you'll get a chance to listen to it)

Today I was reading some articles by Zig Ziglar one of the most renown inspirational speakers and I came across this piece. I think this is something definitely everybody should read/know.

"You were born with unlimited potential and endowed with the seeds of greatness.You have inside of you what it takes to achieve any goal or dream you desire. Most everyone uses less than 5% of their potential. You must decide what it is you really want. Focus on it so clearly and make it your purpose. Then work on it hard enough and long enough. It will happen.You also have to work on things that are goal achieving instead of stress relieving. Feed your mind with good stuff every day. Become an expert in your field"

Some weeks ago I was reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and she talked about the same thing, on how we have unlimited power in us to achieve approximately anything we want. I too do believe that if we can just stop looking at ourselves as persons with limited resources and instead tame that unlimited possibility we have in us, then we can achieve anything we set our minds on. I guess the difference between achievers and failures is that achievers give it their all while failures treat every opportunity as an option.

I guess I needed that quick in the butt too. Now time to go make use my unlimited potential in writing lol. Cheers.
©g!o.inked

Okay I'll start with answering a question I'm always asked; "why doth my writing always emboss sadness?" Well here is the plain truth, Jim Morrison once said, "Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they are wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it." Truth is I don't take pleasure in pain, it's just that I adore diversity and since modern age poetry and writing is about love and heartbreaks, what makes me me if I dwell in that same circle? So I took the path of a wake up call, that path that people are assuming doesn't exist when daily we do know it is there. For example some of my previous poems talk about society pressure upon those who can blend in, we assume we are not killing them that they are the ones killing themselves and nobody wants to talk about them, so I wrote it. In this next poem called Cinderella and Prince Something talks about two leukemia victims who are teenagers and their last minute love.At first I really didn't want to share this piece with the world but then for the support of fight against all sorts of cancer, I have to...I hope you enjoy it or...you enjoy it....

Cinderella and Prince Something
The minute finger was echoing in her dark hope
Reminding her she was one of them at the bus stop
The ride of her lifetime assured of no return
Shivering in the arms of pain under her blanket
At fourteen, terminated and to be erased

She closed her eyes, counted her departing dreams
Every girl was usually rescued by her knight
Her mom found her dad and her sister, a boyfriend
She guessed her knight must’ve gotten lazy to armor up
At fourteen, she had never kissed a boy

She heard a mild, nervous yet a beautiful voice
She didn’t open her eyes for she knew it was a trance
With dashing hopes she hoped it was her chance
To be rescued and for once feel an embrace of a boy
At fourteenth count she opened her eyes to a beauty

He was sixteen with blue eyes that outstood his bland skin
With a frozen smile he told her she was beautiful
Strangest word from a stranger yet familiar from the family
I see Horoscope lied when it said cancers can’t love each other
At fourteen, she finally felt she belonged to this world

She became a Cinderella and he was prince something
He took her to two dates and a masquerade party
While others were clothed as monsters and princesses
They went as two leukemia patients with no deceit
At sixteen minutes to midnight she finally had her first kiss

After her first kiss she never heard again from him
She got angry when she thought she wasn’t cute in bald
Or maybe her lips had a savor of blood she had puked
Or maybe it was midnight and she outgrew her shoes
At fourteen, she had sixteen minutes of love

An ocean once serene turned to a sad song
The only tune she knew ended before her first dance
Others hated life while to them life was a riddle
It was something in his smile that gave her strength
It was his smile that made her live fourteen minutes longer

Her silence bled regrets of joy she robbed her family
She was worried of watching them troubled by her
So she asked for one last sunset to kiss her goodbye
So she asked for one last sunset to kiss her welcome
Fourteen and sixteen dead but with beating hearts

Four minutes away still your tongues reading this
Three minutes away she smiled hopelessly
Two minutes away she hugged her family
A minute away she hugged her prince’s absence
No minute away she found him waiting for her

He said to me, “You leave while we wait.”
She said to me, “You live while we fade.”
©g!o.inked

Most of us fail to be what we want to be because we don't have that one person who believes in us. We are surrounded by family and friends who thinks we aren't good enough or keeps on reminded how we tried and failed or maybe even reminds us of what we used to be instead of reminding us where are going. These kinds of people are nothing but poison to your thoughts and the more you give them your ear, the further you draw yourself away from where you want to be. Don't be the block in other people's path to bring something to the world. Be the reason others rise to greatness. Remember when you help someone to get up, you are basically not helping them but cushioning yourself in case you fall tomorrow. Everybody needs somebody to believe in them if they are to achieve their dreams. So when you hear a friend says he/she wants to do something...as long as it is good, instead of reminding them how the industry is competitive or maybe how he/she does not have the required skills or maybe how the economy is not on their side...believe in them even if you see no reason to believe in them. Even a fire requires a spark first for it to ignite. It is not the skills that we have at the beginning of the journey that determines the end of the journey, but the passion we have before we make the first step. And if we can keep that passion alive, then the skills will come as we need them and when we need them. Everybody needs somebody to believe in them. It maybe a child from a poor background who wants to be an astronaut, a junkie who desires to be drug clean, a harlot who wants to have a happy family, a friend who wants to start a business, a brother/sister who wants to be big in life, a patient in grave conditions who wants to be well, a broken heart who yearns to find true love...everybody needs somebody to believe in them. Great is the faith that we have for ourselves but greatest is the faith we have for others. So stop reminding others of can't(s) and past falls and keep them focused to where they want to be.

 When I started my writing or let's say when I fell in love with literature, I had no expertise totally in this field and to me it was like going to a battlefield with a passion to win but with no armor or spear. I was venturing into a field where people have been studying for years unlike me. Before I took my first step into this I recall I had read only one novel in my life and I did that when I was like seven years old. In high school, literature was never my favorite subject and as a matter of fact I never liked poetry totally. My first poem that I wrote called Sing My Little Nightingale, I wrote it from just studying a poem's structure but not reading. So I am basically a perfect example of you don't need skills to begin a journey, all you need is passion and people to believe in you. It feels amazing when you believe in yourself but it is ten-times more amazing when you find someone who believes in you. Nowadays people read my poetry and stories and other writings and they tell me how great I am...it feels nice yeah but each time I remember those who believed in me when I started the journey. To the furthest I have come, I owe it to my dad who always had a way of having me around books. My best friend Soph aka Gabby Dans who always believes in every step I make plus always seeing the best in me and her sister Mercy who fell in love with my writing before even reading anything yet lol. Hannah who after reading my diary one day suggested that I should write a book and pressured me in my poetry during my first days. My half-brother Fred Harrison for one silly comment he said that my writing will take me places. My homeboy Teddy, the only person who has always encouraged me and saw me as a genius always even when I was not. Tania Jayme, my really good friend who gave me the first resources and a strong kick in the butt to be serious with my writing, she always saw my writing posted in horizon even I had no hopes. A lot of people can now enjoy and live from my words because of these amazing people among others who believed in me when I doubted myself.

We all need somebody to believe in us and on our behalf and not to forget we too need to be that person who believes in others too no matter the situation..
©g!o.inked

Have you ever just taken a minute and paused everything you are doing and just look in the face of people passing by you one by one? I did, and it is heart wrenching how a lot of people are going through a lot of hidden pain in them. Everybody is just a walking volcano and most of these people's pain is triggered by other people who ignored just shutting up or speaking the right words when needed.

This is my letter to all those who are going through that pain and social depression. I am with you.

People are going to treat you bad, walk on you no matter how nice you try to be to them. They are going to make you cry and you are going to feel like life hates you because you give it the best and in return people give you their worst. Don't give up, just never give up because I promise you that it gets better. All the pain that hurts in your heart will one day fade and once again, the magic waterfall will pour in your heart. No matter what you are going through, shed your tears, forgive them and just humble yourself; remember fire doesn't cool fire but water heals the burns...where you sow good, it is good that you will reap; love only comes where it is invited and God only saves those who are broken. Whenever they pin you down, think of Christ; he was spat on, he was beaten, abused and killed by the same people he came to save, but never even for once did he think of vengeance as much as he had the power of God in his palms. For he knew victory that comes with the wounds is always the sweetest. Don't let people change you...be God's instrument and His rewards will amaze you. Remember people can only mistreat you if they are intimidated by you but always take the high road, don't stoop to their level.
© g!o.inked

So I have been busy on my novel and on the first day of NaNoWriMo I managed to write 1,772 words therefore beating the daily mark by 105 words. Sadly enough on the second day I only wrote 1,271 words and that's way below the mark, hopefully I'll recover that within today and tomorrow.

Anyway today I am not here to write about the NaNoWriMo, I want to talk a bit about my book; The Diary Chronicles of Neill. This is my first novel that maybe some have heard about and even the lucky ones have managed to have a glimpse of it and read a little bit of it. I am currently writing it and like I said in the previous post, I am hopeful that by early next year, I shall have finished it.

The Diary: Chronicles of Neill is a book developed from the path that I have lived, the life that I have seen from my very own eyes but basically it is a young adult mainstream fiction; meaning, everything in it is somehow influenced by factual events but presented fictionally to capture the conscience of the reader to understand it well and feel like he/she can relate to it. It narrates the life of the protagonist, Neill Kynberg, his transformation from a troublesome background to living the fame in high school, death of the parents and the post-trauma life. It is somehow like a fictional memoir of Neill Kynberg.

The setting of the book is a fictional town in South Carolina, presented in real life with Charleston. I know the question is why Charleston, South Carolina? Well when I was researching about the best place I can choose as setting, I was looking for factors like; it must be a town close to an ocean, a town with history, a humble town that is somehow country but at the same time has a city quality and a town that embraces religion and no town could fit that quality better than Charleston, SC...the Holy City or also known as Chucktown.

The writing style of the book is influenced by a number of authors notably the likes of Oscar Wilde, Stephanie Meyer, Sophie Kinsella, Patrick Suskind and Nicholas Sparks. I don't know about the other authors, but my writing style here is also influenced by songs from artists like Missy Higgins and Kate Voegele. So it is a mixture of a lot of styles thus it is something that anybody can read and get attached to.

A lot of themes are discussed in this book, but the most outstanding is the inevitable tragedy. The book itself is tragic from the loss of his brother to the loss of both parents in his final year in high school to losing himself as he tries to find himself after the loss of the family, then later in life when everything should be fine...he loses the love of his life. Another theme is the immortality of faith. Despite everything that happens to the protagonist, when everybody would expect him to give up, he still finds his reason for living and expecting that one day everything will be alright. Other stuff highlighted include, society oppression, love and drugs.Basically everything you encounter in life and everything you encounter in your imagination as an escape, is encountered in this book.

So this is my first book, The Diary: Chronicles of Neill that will later be followed by The Diary: Scarlet's Chronicles. I'll be posting more bits of the book here with time as we unfold the chronicles of Neill Kynberg.I am going to end this post with one of my favorite quotes from the book.

"You see Neill, sometimes you have to withdraw yourself from the battlefield; not because you are weak or giving up but to have a better view at what you are fighting. Then, just then, your heart will tell you what to do. That's how I ended up with man of my dreams." Motherly advice from Leila Kynberg to Neill, when torn up between two girls.

©g!o.inked

“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.”
― Neil Gaiman

Okay so every author/writer's best month is here, for this is the opportunity to push your skills to the limit. I myself, I am happy and let me say I am ready for my first NaNoWriMo. For those wondering what is NaNoWriMo, in full it is National Novel Writing Month (which happens annually in November) where writers both fictional and non-fictional aim to write a minimum of 50,000 words within 30 days...this is the version of fasting to writers where you have to do all you can to beat the figure. So basically I am to write  1,667 per day for me to accomplish this, I hope I will manage. Unlike others, first I am not doing this to win any prize and second, I am not going to be writing from the NaNoWriMo website but on my MS Word...it gives the freedom that I need, and it helps me draw full attention to my work. I know most writers are already up on it while the lazy me hasn't even yet started :D ...I will be working or let me say with the November rush, i am not going to pick up a new book to work on, but my first one that I have been working on for quite sometime called The Diary: Chronicles of Neill which I am actually starting Chapter Ten today (Hooray to me!!)...and hoping to be done with everything by early next year. So I will be blogging a bit about this novel this month so that you can get acquainted with it and the life that I live everyday through ink. Cheers and Happy NaNoWriMo to all writers out there bold enough to write their path and to all readers out their brave enough to be engulfed in the magic of our inks.
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So i was thinking today of how we take important things for granted and magnify our times on certain things that truly hold not much value in our life...these that basically brings us "security" but not love...i mean on a serious note, what is more insecure than being lonely? Everyday we wake up and the first things we think of are of monetary value and we go all through the day with nothing but this thought. This has become part of our lives to the extent we don't remember that money only bring us temporary happiness, but friends and family brings us joy but still we'd rather choose career over family. Marilyn Monroe once said, " A career is wonderful but you can't curl up with it in bed."...we've all become nothing but zombies yearning to be humans.

Yesterday a friend of mine lost a friend through accident and she told me how she was shocked on how life can be so short. It had me thinking, why do we ignore people as if we know they'll be there tomorrow when truth of the matter is that, we are not promised that?  We hold resentment in our hearts when we know can show love, we postpone things in ignorance when we can just do them today, you make mistakes saying that tomorrow i'll apologize/we'll talk and everything will be alright when you can just avoid it in the first place, we take people for granted when deep within us we know that we need them. Humans are considered to be ruling the highest rank in knowledge capacity but sadly enough i find it that humans are the most ignorant of all God's creations. The big question is, when you wake up today and find that friend/family member dead, will you say you lived a well satisfied life with him/her? Or will you forever hold thirst in you that will never be quenched?

If you have a friend that has made you smile or has really influenced the person you are today, but of late the communication link between you two has been on a wreck, why are you waiting for him/her to call you first if you can do it? If you know you had a fight with someone special in your life that you never want to lose, would you trade that for his/her death? A family member that you have not been on good terms with, what if he/she is stolen today? It is always said, the beautiful things in life are free...stop chasing for temporary happiness if you've been blessed by people you know make you happy in your life. I am not saying that we should not go for our dreams and work hard, just remember life is not for going through but to be lived and money creates no memory....for this life is nothing but a whisper. Let the ones that add/have added colors to your life know that their presence in this life is valued...in this life you can regain everything you have lost, but not a moment stolen.
 © g!o.inked

The poem below pretty much speaks for itself. This is to all who have lost loved ones through depression and society pressure. Please learn to accept people as they are...we aren't gold to fold to whatever you want, we ain't perfect and just 'cause you are strong not all of us are strong...I wrote this because i am just sick of people always expecting us and to show the world to what extent you drive us...I am a loner and i love it that way, i love my solitude and i don't want to be what the society wants me to be. It is simple, accept me and love me for who i am or just find the next exit, but i am not going to fold to what does not please me. Cheers.

Beautiful Decay

You were just a fragile angel masked in imperfection

Whispered by the heavens to not last in this life

Now I live with the misery of pain of your absence

As I rip myself from the inside in hunt for a reason

On what’s the meaning of this if you won’t get to read it

Forgive me that I could not attend your burial

I could not stand the sight of the dark clouded crowd

I just wish you told me you were about to leave

At least I would be freed from this wretched mortality

To be in the next world we imagined as always together

Everybody is unsighted to the load that weighs me down

They keep on saying that I am holding to what’s gone

What if the past is the only present you have to live?

What if tomorrow holds nothing for it seeks freedom too?

To me the wine in this golden cup no longer tastes sweet

I wish I’d convince you it is not too late to stay alive

For I have become nothing but a sailor without a map

Please please promise me if I die tonight and join you

That in the after life you’ll for eternity stay alive

But if you ever decide to leave again, let me live with you

No bullet have I encountered can hush the scar in my brain

Each night I am enslaved by nightmares of our memories

I wake up drowning and fighting for air in the pool of my tears

When I stay awake reality cuts every edge of life trapped in me

Please come salvage me from this nightmare I am drowning into

I hope tonight I will find strength to sleep into a comatose

Maybe overdose of Vicodin and Prozac to keep me asleep forever

For I am out to search for a near death experience

Just for a night to be near you and near the ones behind

For I seek a chance to know that you are in safe hands

I loved it when people nicknamed us The Misery Misfits

Tell me the next world is real like in the movie Lovely Bones

Do you hold memories of how we wanted to be in a psychic ward?

But now I am alone in a medium ward, it totally sucks

For they put me to sleep whenever I scream I miss you

People will never understand how lovely you were

For you did put out your light before you shone bright

I hope you get to read this and cry just as I am

Not because it is your final poem embossed with pain

But because you wish I was there with you

Today I met the popular kids who used to bully us

Wearing false grievance masked with regrets

They even told me to go hang out with them tonight

I guess finally your death has robbed butterflies their color

Finally the owls find the reason to sleeping at night

To the rest of the world out there literate to read

I wish these words were a half empty of what I feel inside

You seize the life of your loved ones in your flimsy palms

Taking away your life steals away more than just one life

For now I bid fare-thee-well to my sanity and my best friend

I guess you’ve finally given me a Walk To Remember

I smile through tears knowing I encountered an angel

“Don’t call me an angel,” you always said.

“All these angels are only here for a moment.”

Here in my last words I kiss your shadows goodbye

As the rest say Rest In Peace you’ll be missed,

For me Return If Possible I miss you

R.I.P & I love You

© g!o.inked 

Yes, yes, yes...my bucket list...the list i can't survive without. We all know what bucket list is...but for those who don't know what this is...well this is that list that contains all the things you wish to to do, or places you wish to travel to or even food you always wish/want to eat eat before your living time clicks to zero (die)...well, i have been modifying mine ever since i don't know when 'cause when you grow up you, you outgrow some of the passions. Well so here is my bucket list of which i hope i'll manage to clear before i die...God help me, i haven't even done a quarter of the list....so here we go (the one(s) with tick, are accomplished) lol, that if there's any.

Bucket/Wish List
1. Reach the peak of Mt. Kenya....yes, why would i want to start elsewhere if charity begins at home.
2. Visit Australia. This has been my childhood dream and somehow the only dream that i have managed to keep to date. Most definitely, i'll start with Sidney and it beautiful Opera House then to the beautiful coral reefs. I hope this happens to be around New Year, i heard the town gets really colorful during this period.
3. Travel to Nevis. Why? Because my favorite character in my novel in progress is named after this Caribbean island.
4. Visit Charleston, South Carolina. My book made me fall in love with this town. Since the setting of the book is Charleston and i have never been there physically,  i had to do a lot of research about the town and everything about it just made the baby in me scream YAY!! Definitely this is a MUST!!
5. Visit Ko Phi Phi Don, Thailand. This has always been my most desired vacation destination. What more can i say about it? Nada!! Just google it and you'll see the beauty.
6. Watch a movie in a drive-in theater. I know this is so old school and so "The Notebook" movie, but come on, what beats the thrill of watching a movie in a field in your car, with that special someone?
7. Publish a minimum of three books. Okay i know as an author (to-be), i should be talking about thirty books or something, okay that will happen when that time comes but as per now i just want to have my first novel, my poem collection and inspiration stuff in paperback...the rest will come with time.
8. Help someone fulfill a goal. Not for fame or anything but because even i myself i am where where i am because of hands that decided to spare time for me.
9. Go night camping. Okay this totally is insane that i have never been to night camping...day camping, yes i have done that when i was still a scout but i'd so love to spend time just under the stars in nature. I'm planning for one to happen this December, i hope it'll come to happen.
10. Write myself a letter and read it ten years letter. Okay i don't know how i can explain this :D but i find it interesting. I am to write a letter now and never open it until i am thirty-three, i hope the thirty-three year old me, won't be disappointed in the twenty-three year old me.
11. Go sky diving. Totally and seriously who doesn't want to do this? I know i am freakishly afraid of heights but this is the ultimate bonus. At least it will corroborate to me that i can achieve anything.After this certainly i will try bungee jumping.
12. Watch all Marilyn Monroe movies. Well so far, i have managed five.
13. Watch top 100 movies of all time. Yeah this related to the one above and congratualtions to me i have watched like only sixteen. Damn that's bad, well the list is not ever constant and varies a lot but as for me i follow imdb movie list and life'd movie list. http://www.lifed.com/top-100-best-movies-of-all-time and http://www.imdb.com/chart/top
14. Get passionate about a cause. Okay currently i am supporting cancer, breast cancer cause specifically, not that because i lost someone to it but i was researching about it because in my first novel there's a character who is a victim to it and my third novel is a bout a lady succumbing to it. The research did open my eyes to a lot of things and that's why i decided to take it.
15. Take a week long technology hiatus. Yep...a week away from anything that has technology embedded to it. So far i think i have managed two days and that was because i traveled to a very remote place.
16. Throw a huge party and invite all my friends. Okay i have done this except it was not huge.
17. Learn how to play piano perfectly.
18. Record at least three songs, not for fame or anything but just so that one day my child(s) can listen to.
19. Drive a Pontiac Solstice GXP coupe or Jeep Wrangler (whichever edition).
20. Have two dogs, preferably German Shepherds. I basically i am not a fan of pets and since i can't legally own a shark plus it is a bit stressful, I want to have these two.
21. and the final one, set foot on all seven continents. Yes that's right, Africa, Asia, N.America, S.America, Antarctica, Europe and Australia. I hope you don't need glasses to figure out why it is the last on the list. If i can accomplish everything up the list, that means i have finally somehow stepped on all the seven continents.

On the picture is the beautiful twin peaks of Mt. Kenya...So so far, i noticed i haven't accomplished any of the things above, maybe, just maybe because the list is an updated one, there are certain things i am sure i have accomplished that i always wanted to do while i was young, like writing a poem that can draw more than five people to tears.
Everybody should have a bucket list. Stop living a mundane life and make one if you don't have one, or better yet just watch the movie Bucket list, starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson and you'll definitely understand what i am talking about . §
In case you need help with creating your bucket list,  just google Bucket List and it will bring you the cool sites that have some crazy ideas of what to do before you kick the bucket. Damn i should have added "stop biting my nails" in the list above...but then, i enjoy this lol...
Next...let's wait and see my top five everything list. Cheers.
© g!o.inked