So finally i managed to pen down the emotions that were clouding my heart and preventing me from dealing with my past. It is amazing how you can get over someone without moving on and that's the single mistake i guess i have been doing each time my relationships fall off the edge of the cliff. So for the first time i am going to chin up, dust the dust off my coat and say, i am fine and mean it without hiding treasure that i still carry from the past. But first things first...drain off all the emotions in your heart.
So i am going to take step by step as i update this diary of a silly Gemini on my progress...so this is day one...i flush off the emotions that i hide in me, be it anger or love and the best way for me is to write a poem. Amazingly i did manage to write this one below...so i blog it
LEAKING FACE
Here I am penned in pain writing you the last of
us
I write this sitting among mourning chamber of
gods
Who weep for me and dry their tears with clouds
above
So that I can quench my pain from drinking
theirs
I am the loser who awaits to fall as winner
takes it all
I try to pretend everyday that you and I are
over
I clothe truth with garments of lies about my
pain
Until yesterday when I heard the winds whisper
your name
Your name with someone’s who had replaced mine
I choked from the stench of memories I can’t
erase
And lies that you had me enslaved with by you
How you painted a perfect picture of hope I held
dearly
About tomorrows that you held so high just to
tease me
How foolish was I to fight just to hold onto
nothing
Like when I tried to kiss you and you pushed me
away
Why couldn’t I see that you were saving your
lips for him?
Another victim you’ve lured by your charms that now
kill me
To you it was so easy jumping out of a flying
plane
Because you knew we would fall so you brought
your parachute
You landed on your feet and made merry at my
broken pieces
I died and resurrected from the misery you left
me in
But despite growing wings I find myself crawling
back to you
Because I hunger for your pain that you had me
addicted
You gave me so much endless nights on short days
The best adventures of my life I explored them
with you
But you took me deep in the jungle where for a
reason I never saw
Until you left me because you knew I’d be lost
without you
Thanks to you now I can see the world in a
single color
Thanks to you now I can’t listen to my favorite
songs
Because they play nothing but memories on how we
danced to them
You’re the last hero in armored suit that I’ll
ever need to save me
For you come protected with an ambition to wreck
me
Then brag that you kept your heart safe from me
This love was never a game for winner to be
crowned
But truth is we were just racing for a destiny
that was never there
You won and finally found that one to replace me
All I did was write Fading April hoping it would
quench me
I hope you use my silly jokes I made to make you
smile on him
And lie that I’m just someone you don’t want to
remember
When we know that I am the past that gave you
your present
Don’t worry I am not in tears I just have a
leaking face
Melting from the candle lit at the base of my
heart
As I become a record that broken hearts play
© g!o.inked
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